“For the happy man prayer is only a jumble of words, until the day when sorrow comes to explain to him the sublime language by means of which he speaks to God.” [Alexandre Dumas in his masterpiece, The Count of Monte Cristo (completed in 1844).]
For some, sorrow is the teacher of this sublime language; for others, a storm is the teacher. Some in our family have been taking major tests and qualifying exams this year. For some, success is quick. For others, success will come later than expected or preferred. For everyone in our family, life has explained to us in new ways the importance of this sublime language. Here are more of the words in the language to which Dumas refers:
Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout as you did in Rome, Do your worst, for I will do mine! Then the fates will know you as we know you, as Albert Mondego, the man.
Storms teach. But the master teacher is what we see as we look into the storm.
Quote from Time 1:00-2:03 of a clip of the birthday toast from “The Count of Monte Cristo” (2002), on YouTube below (or entire movie, with or without subtitles.) :
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Mercédès Iguanada, portrayed by Dagmara Dominczyk
WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:
Header, Ukiyo-e Woodblock Print, “Great Wave Off Kanagawa”, Hokusai (1829-32)—en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Great_Wave_off_Kanagawa2.jpg, with further info at en.wikipedia. org/wiki/The_Great_Wave_off_Kanagawa
Photo, “Edmond Dantès, portrayed by James Caviezel”—www. pinterest.com/pin/105764291222980072/
Photo, “Albert Mondego (Albert de Morcerf), portrayed by Henry Cavill”—henrycavill.org/en/filmography/best-known-as/perfect-book-boyfriend
Photo, “Mercédès Iguanada, portrayed by Dagmara Dominczyk”—fanpix.famousfix.com/0671183/012040677/the-count-of-monte-cristo-2002-picture.html
Photo, “Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words—Wait and hope.”—www. pinterest.com/pin/120541727497864394/
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“Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words—Wait and hope.”
When God provides what we need (even when painful), so that we start to see things as He sees them, He may stress and stretch our vision.
What will be our ability to make these changes?
Will it stretch us, break us, or shape us into a beautiful iron rose?
Kim Martin: “The greater our sorrow is, the greater our capacity is to feel joy.”
Spoken by an iron rose who knows.
My two older sisters have each passed away in the past month. The pain for those of us who remain is excruciating. It puts us to the test. Where we go from here will try our mettle. It helps us to see our mission in life…
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As he passes through a crucible of his own, Nephi uses fire to fashion metal plates for scripture
Bonus Materials:
Read, watch or listen to James E. Faust, “The Refiner’s Fire”, Apr 1979 LDS General Conference. “You are discussing a matter you know nothing about… I knew then that the angels of God were there.”
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WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:
Photo, “As he passes through a crucible of his own, Nephi uses fire to fashion metal plates for scripture”—www. lds.org/media-library/images/nephi-fashioning-the-plates-447330?lang=eng&category=
I got an email from Aunt Carol today updating us on Grandpa. Grandpa’s body is failing. It’s been true for weeks. He can’t get enough oxygen even with the O2 levels at 100%. He’s being moved to a hospice center for rehab. He has a clot in his lungs. He sleeps most of the time and tires easily.
I think of Grandpa often these days. I remember things like being pulled off my feet by his big hands placed over my ears: compress and lift! I remember sports and newspapers. I remember an underwhelmed reaction (to say the least) at his first and only viewing of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
I remember a spiritual presence. Always…when I think of Grandpa’s life I think of constant, quiet service…” Grandpa passed away 2 days later.
Another excerpt 13 August 2014
Yesterday I received a call midday from Anne [Brendan’s sister]. The police had called her. Ben [Brendan’s brother] was found dead in his car by a self-inflicted gun shot. Ben is dead…Anne wanted to talk to Brendan and was having trouble getting a hold of him. I gave her his direct line and told her to tell them who she was and that it was an emergency concerning his brother. She got through and I heard from Brendan a few minutes later. Everyone’s reaction has been shock. No one knew. It seems no one ever knows with suicide. So lonely. So much despair that you feel the best option is death. So difficult. … I pray for Ben. I’m grateful for [the Grandparents] that are there to nurture Ben. I’m grateful Heavenly Father knows all and takes into account the extraneous circumstances that lead us to despair. I’m grateful for the Atonement which covers our griefs and sorrows. I’m grateful for Mercy…
Another excerpt 03 January 2015
…Aunt Becky passed away the morning after Kev’s wedding. Honestly, all I can feel is relief! For Becky! For the first time her suffering mind will be at ease. She’ll have her own thoughts and control over every single one! She and Grandma can sit and chat in ways that were simply impossible during their lifetimes. Uncle Bill spoke of Becky’s endurance of her trial in this life and how well she bore it. I have to agree with Bill. The imprisonment of schizophrenia is something I cannot fathom. But for years (maybe 40?), with medication she lived in her own apartment at a living center, managed her own money, made some of her own meals, sewed her own clothes, took classes at the local community center and endured well! I’m sad that Brendan and my kids never knew her as I knew her growing up. My Dad pointed out that none of us ever really knew Becky except her Savior and Father in Heaven. And now Grandma too. That makes my heart happy. “Deep peace in Christ!”- A Gaelic Blessing Grandma’s favorite and what we sang at Grandma’s funeral a few years back.
One more excerpt 4 Januray 2015
Aunt Meg [Becky’s and my Dad’s sister] passed away this morning…my heart feels heavy. I feel very tired. At least Meg, Becky, and Grandma are having a glorious reunion.
My mind and my heart have been greatly weighed with grief in all sorts of ways. I feel sorrow at Grandpa’s absence. I feel anger at the circumstances of Ben’s life that, in my grief, I am blaming for his death–there is no way to know whether this is true, but grief is not always rational or compassionate. I feel relief for Becky and great sorrow for her dad, my still living Grandpa. I feel weariness and sorrow at Aunt Meg’s passing. Sorrow for Uncle Ken and my adult cousins. I can’t imagine loosing my mother whom I still need so desperately even though I’m supposed to be a grown-up. And great sorrow for Grandpa who lost two children in a week’s time.
I have spent a good deal of time studying my scriptures and contemplating death. I hope to relay the impression I have felt as it has brought me peace and will carry me through my grief.
I have been particularly touched by this scripture “But there is a Resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ” (Mosiah 16:8) The Atonement of Jesus Christ comprises two parts 1) an atoning for our sins-our spiritual death and 2) the conquering of death-The Resurrection-the restoration of our physical bodies, then perfected, with our spirits. Both are essential to our eternal salvation. Because Christ rose again and conquered death we will live again. Grandpa will live again. Ben will live again. Becky will live again. Meg will live again. Their spirits will no longer be trapped by an imperfect body but liberated by a Celestial, physical body. They will be whole.
How can this not speak peace to my mind? It brings me such peace and comfort in my grief. Because let’s face it: death stings. Death stings when you think of something you want to share with a loved one who is no longer there to call. Death stings when you go to family gatherings and someone is missing. Or there is an empty chair you know should be filled. Death stings when you go to a wedding in the same place you were married and Grandpa isn’t there to perform the ceremony anymore. Death stings when the family is singing in the living room and no one is jamming out a symphony on the piano. And no one is harmonizing. Death stings when you have a question about your family heritage and the one with all the answers is now a part of that heritage. It stings at the family reunion where the family patriarch is absent. It stings when you put on your brothers tie for church on Sunday.
Death stings. And I cannot express how grateful I am that “the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.”
When I think of Christmas stories of being selfless, I don’t have any personal stories of great import. That may be a good thing. I think of fairly normal things. Like when I was in college and got a bunch of friends together to walk the halls of retirement homes singing Christmas carols and sharing cookies, simply because my family had always done that, and I missed it. Service was just a part of our upbringing.
Or my first Christmas when I lived in Argentina, and the culture was so different — December falls in summer on the other side of the equator, so I had a decision to make. Would I choose to focus as did many North Americans on the fact that there were no Christmas colors (such as red & green), no carols, no decorations, few Christmas trees, no gift giving (since gifts are given two weeks after on Day of the Three Kings, January 6), few Christmas stories, just beer and fireworks? Or would I instead choose to focus on the fact that Argentine culture simply differs from mine, that people celebrate differently than I, that I should go and enjoy the dancing, learn to love polkas and chacareras as much as they, see beyond differences between Papá Noel and Santa Clause to see the similarities their roles represent, and just sit and enjoy the eating and talking and eating and talking ’til the wee hours of the morning? Enjoying cultural differences was just part of my upbringing. So was deciding to love other people as they are. As I made the less fleeting decision, I made their experience my experience, made Argentines my family, made their stories part of my family story. And now I miss those times, actively miss the differences, sorely miss the people.
I think one of the best things I can do at Christmas is to learn to get outside of myself and make the season not about me but rather about the people around me. If it’s about me, the season may be frenzied and unsettling. If it’s about others, I may find my days merry and bright.
My mental and spiritual state can be independent of the culture, the geography or the weather. I can bring my own mental snow, mental flocking, mental glowing white candles. I have learned that a white Christmas isn’t just an ideal; it’s a state of mind.
Other selfless Christmas stories below. Enjoy!
A young boy gives selflessly to another child in need:
John Rhys-Davies retells the story of Luke Chapter 2:
John Rhys-Davies explains the importance of the Christmas story:
Cloverton Hallelujah: Love the chords, and I applaud the holiday lyrics which magically upgrade this gorgeous ballad with Cohen’s discordant words into something we love to sing. Thank you, thank you, Cloverton, for the wonderful music!
Here’s the audio:
Here’s the video with audio muted:
I love the changes in the lyrics, and I find this verse particularly meaningful:
I know You came to rescue me
This baby boy would grow to be
A man and one day die for me and you
My sins would drive the nails in You
That rugged cross was my cross, too
Still every breath You drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah
The first gift of Christmas wasn’t from a store. What does love mean to you? Life? Peace? Or hope?
My son, Mike, worked a miracle in a woman’s life. While living in Portland, Oregon, he knew a woman whose boyfriend abused her physically. She was personally at risk. She had tried other solutions, all of which had failed. Mike and a friend helped her to leave her situation, get on a bus, leave town, save her life, and start a new life elsewhere. She was free as she hadn’t been in some time. The dictionary defines the term ‘miracle’ as “a wonderful or surpassing example of some quality.” My son, Mike, is miraculous (“having or seeming to have the power to work miracles”). His actions impacted this woman’s life for good.
I’ve noticed that not just Mike but many people may have a deep impact for good. It is my experience that we can be a miracle in the lives of others.
Farmers in the hot, dry, desert area of northwest Mexico plant seeds and grow varieties of corn and beans that are unusually hardy and resistant to drought. While other plants would wither and die in a harsh climate, these varieties survive and flourish. The white tepary bean is one of these plants. It sends its roots as deep as six feet into the rocky, sandy earth to find the moisture it needs, even when very little rain falls. It can flower and fruit in the 115-degree (Fahrenheit, or 46-degree Celsius) desert temperatures with only one rainfall each year. Its leaves remain remarkably green, even in the heat of mid-July. (See Gary Paul Nabhan, “Seeds of Renewal,” World Monitor, Jan. 1989, Pages 17–20.)
Joseph Wirthlin applied this concept to our own behavior:
Perhaps members of the Church could emulate the example of these hardy, sturdy plants. We should send our roots deep into the soil of the gospel. We should grow, flourish, flower, and bear good fruit in abundance despite the evil, temptation, or criticism we might encounter. We should learn to thrive in the heat of adversity.
Deep Roots
Each of my adult children is a miracle. Just as my wife, Kim, presided over the birth of each of them, I felt strongly that it was my role, my job as a father, to preside over their second birth. All six of my kids have grown up with roots that go down deep, harboring in their hearts a deep sense of who they are, how they should act towards others, how they should follow God. In doing so, they have not only saved others—They have saved themselves.
Did these miracles happen? Did these happenings constitute miracles? It depends on your perspective:
Here are some associated thoughts from Harvard Business School Innovation Expert Clay Christensen:
I believe that the reason these remarkable people succeeded in the face of today’s apparent indifference toward religion is that these member missionaries tried to know and follow God’s thoughts and His ways as best they could. I believe that the miracles that occurred in their lives will be predictable in our lives, too—when we follow His thoughts and ways as well. (The Power of Everyday Missionaries, Chapter 16, Pages 145-150.)
I have learned for myself that each of us may work miracles—in others, and more importantly, in ourselves. In order to do so, we must have roots that go down deep, roots that change our lives. For good.
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Bonus Materials:
1. Read, watch or listen to the entire address: “Seeds of Renewal”, Joseph B. Wirthlin, April 1989 LDS General Conference.
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WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:
Migrant Mother, Nipomo, California, 1936 by Dorothea Lange
Bullying begins early, especially when faith is involved. My friend who shoved my face in the dirt was one of many. In elementary school and junior high, when kids learned I’m Mormon, they would often ask how many moms I had. I remember wondering how much they really knew about the birth process.
I have Muslim friends, Catholic friends, Jewish friends, friends of many faiths, all with experience getting their faces shoved in the dust. Gritty, tough, beautiful faces.
Dirt and faith go together. Opposition, criticism, and antagonism are companions to truth. Whenever the truth is revealed with regard to the purpose and destiny of mankind, there will always be a force to oppose it.
Faces Of Kevin At 3 Years Old
When our son Kevin was three or four years old, an older sibling had a soccer match after a week of rain. At the side of the field was a narrow 25-foot-long puddle. Kev quickly learned that if he ran and threw his body on the ground in just the right way, he could slide the entire length of the water. Before long, the families around us began to watch Kevin instead of the game. One photographer mom missed her son’s only goal of the season as she focused her lens on Kev. “Gotta set priorities. Look at that face!” she said, kept snapping shots, and gave us copies of her images later that week.
Dirt and Faith on the Mexican Baja
Years later, Kevin’s face was again caked with dirt, this time from the dry dust of Tijuana, made a bit muddy by the ample sweat of his brow. He loved working closely with friends from Mexico as they labored to teach the truth. At one point, weeks of opposition and criticism were taking a heavy toll. His close friends were truly discouraged, and it weighed heavily on his heart. Kev decided to rip his bedsheet in two and scribbled on his Title of Liberty, “In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children”, and fastened it upon the end of a pole. He called his flock of fellow laborers together to encourage them and, in his strong voice, shouted in Spanish, “Whosoever will maintain this title upon the land, let them come forth in the strength of the Lord, and promise with me that they will maintain their rights, and their religion, that the Lord God may bless them.” After signing the rent cloth, Kevin invited them to sign. They all did. And their courage was restored. People started really talking with these young men once again, sharing feelings down deep and listening to them, as the weeks of opposition and antagonism evaporated, leaving only the local dust on their tired, smiling faces.
Look for the biggest dust cloud billowing above the most dirt, and you’ll find that it’s being kicked at someone standing for the truth. Sometimes, no one stands with them.
“The Standard of Truth has been erected; no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing, persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny many defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited very clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done.”—Joseph Smith
Bullies will always assemble themselves. Why? Because someone is teaching the truth, and the truth will always be opposed. Time to labor harder, time to work smarter, time to smile that feel-it-deep-down smile…
Two men looked up from prison bars,
One saw the mud, the other saw stars.
—Dale Carnegie, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Defying Opposition
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Bonus Material:
Many of these thoughts are inspired by Lawrence Corbridge. Read, watch or listen to his entire address, “The Prophet Joseph Smith”, Apr 2014 LDS General Conference.
“A Father’s Gift”, Liz Lemon Swindle
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WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:
Photo, “Migrant Mother, Nipomo, California, 1936 by Dorothea Lange”—www2. artsmia.org/blogs/new-pictures/category/mia-photo-exhibitions/
Photo, “Dirt and Faith on the Mexican Baja”, from private collection
Quote, “The Standard of Truth,” Joseph Smith, Jr., History of the Church, Volume 4, Page 540, from the Wentworth Letter, just before the Articles of Faith
Quote by Dale Carnegie, www. goodreads.com/quotes/420532-two-men-looked-out-from-prison-bars-one-saw-the
Photo, “Defying Opposition”, from private collection
Painting, “A Father’s Gift”, by Liz Lemon Swindle. Swindle tells us that this tender painting portrays the love of three fathers. Our heavenly Father entrusted the twins to John and Julia Murdock. When Julia died after childbirth, Brother Murdock entrusted them to Joseph, who brought them to Emma. Emma had just lost her own twin babies within hours of their birth. Joseph and Emma loved and raised the twins as if they were their own. See www. ldsart.com/p-10603-fathers-gift.aspx. Dave adds: To me this painting is about how a loving God follows opposition and trials by restoring smiles.
Painting, “Hope”, by Liz Lemon Swindle. See www. world-wide-art.com/art/Liz_Lemon_Swindle.html. Peter and John were no strangers to criticism and antagonism, which had cost them dearly. Swindle teaches us about illustrating a tender moment just before their faces learn to smile again:
When Mary came to the tomb, she found the stone rolled away and the tomb empty. She ran to the disciples crying, “They have taken away the Lord…and we know not where they have laid him” (John 20:2). Peter and John immediately ran to the tomb.
What did they think as they ran? Were they simply curious to see for themselves? Did they fear, like Mary, that their enemies had stolen the body? Or did they remember His promise, “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up”?
The decision that faced Peter and John that Sunday morning is the same decision that faces each one of us today. Will we doubt? Will we hope? Or will we know that He lives? I know that He lives.
Photo, “Smiles After Opposition”, from private collection
In this Easter season, we in our family want all of you to know that we believe in religious liberty, in upholding a strong tradition of civil discourse with people who aren’t like us, and in expressing a heart-felt faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. We say these things on our own initiative. We feel them deep in our hearts. They make us who we are. We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow everyone the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
Mary With The Resurrected Christ
We are glad that the Savior was born in a stable, died and came forth alive three days later with a resurrected and perfect body that would never perish, never go away. It’s because of Him that we live where traditions of religious liberty have thrived. It’s because of Him that we can be a forever family. It’s because of Him that we have the freedoms we enjoy.
“I believe that in time, with patience and good will, contending constitutional rights and conflicting personal values can be brought into mutually respectful accommodation.”
Excerpts from Elder Dallin H. Oaks’ Constitutional Symposium Address 16 April 2014. (Time 5:10.)
It was unthinkable, impossible, unfathomable, unprecedented.
He was a carpenter, a teacher, an outcast, a leader.
Like all who preceded Him, He lived, and He died.
But unlike all who preceded Him, He rose from the dead.
He lived again.
He lives, and because He lives, we all will live again.
Because of Him, death hath no sting, the grave no victory.
We can start again, and again, and again.
Because of Him, guilt becomes peace, regret becomes relief,
despair becomes hope.
Because of Him, we have second chances, clean slates, new beginnings.
There is no such thing as The End.
Because of Him:
Once a week we hold a family activity we call, Family Home Evening. Or if you are my second son “Hamily Fome Evening.” He is definitely big enough to say it correctly. However, I’m pretty sure I’ll cry when he stops calling it that.
Family Home Evening is a program designed for parents to give gospel instruction in the home and for fun! Our children love Family Home Evening! As a parent, I love what it does for my family. I love taking an opportunity to teach formally about gospel principles and scripture stories. Most of all, I love helping my children learn how to take these principles and stories and apply them in their own lives, and in our home! “Making connections!” as my seven-year old would say.
Many wonderful things can come out of preparing for, and holding, regular Family Home Evening. I truly believe that it was a strength and blessing in my life growing up, and that it will be in the lives of my children. If nothing else, Family Home Evening provides us a setting to ask questions, discuss, testify, and grow in our faith at home.
One such question came up this week. Brendan and I had wrangled all the kids into the living room, through the opening song and prayer, and coerced them all into reverence (sort of…). I pulled out the objects I needed to present my lesson on King Solomon and Wisdom when my son raised his hand and asked, “Mom, how did Jesus do it? How did He not ever mess up and do anything bad?…Because, it’s hard…” My son’s voice trailed off and he choked a little on that last line. Looking down at him, seated on the floor next to his 5 year old brother and his 4 year old sister, he suddenly seemed so old to me. And so young. He swallowed hard. I could see the tears begin to brim in his eyes. Those blue almond shaped eyes, like his Dad’s. I had never really considered his question before. How had Christ done it? because it IS hard! Even for wonderful little boys (and girls) who know what is right and want what is right! IT IS HARD! I struggled with my answer.
Fortunately, my husband had an insight that I think is true. Brendan explained to our children that Jesus could live a life without sin, without doing anything bad, because He loved Heavenly Father more than anything else! Jesus loved Heavenly Father so much that He never let anything this world had to offer come between Them! Jesus loved Heavenly Father so much that with every decision He made (big or small) He never forgot what Heavenly Father wanted Him to do. More importantly, Jesus never forgot the kind of person Heavenly Father wanted Him to become!
So, how do we live our lives to be Christ-like?
“Thou Shalt love the Lord they God with all they heart, and with all thy soul, and with all they mind. This is the first and the great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” (I added the italics KJV Matt 22:27-28)
“If ye love me, keep my commandments” (KJV John 14:15) Obedience is the evidence of our love for the Savior, as was the Savior’s obedience evidence of His love for the Father.
My son is right, though. It truly is hard. We live in a fallen world, but we are not left without resources to guide and strengthen our faith! We are not left without a way to correct our mistakes! Through the Atonement, through Christ’s suffering in Gethsemane, His death, and His glorious Resurrection we are blessed with power over the bad! We are blessed with the power of repentance!
Repentance is what makes perfection possible in this life. Repentance is the sweetest blessing.
To my sweet boy, who feels things deeper than many, and to all of us pondering similar questions: You LOVE God the Father. You LOVE the Savior. You LOVE all others. And when you mess up, whether you meant to or not, you LOVE the Father and the Son enough to turn to them, confessing your wrong, seeking forgiveness, compensating and making amends to those you wronged. Love Him enough not to do it again. It will be hard.
Don’t worry, sweet boy, I’ll help you. I’ll remind you how very much our Heavenly Father loves and treasures His Children. I’ll remind you that hard things always take practice and that’s what this life is for, to practice!
Will you help me, too? I need you to remind me that it’s okay to forget and mess up and that we can make it better by turning to the Savior. I need you to help me remember how to forgive quickly. You are so good at that.
Please, let’s help each other. Let’s love Heavenly Father more than anything this world has to offer. Let’s help others on their way.
It’s dinner time. My husband and my two middle children have just rushed out the door to make it to an Eagle Court of Honor, leaving my youngest and oldest (both boys) and me goofing at the table. Gobbling and goofing at an end, we clear the table. I’m feeling excited! I don’t get much one on one time with my oldest son. He’s nearly seven years old, a delightful age! An age where he plays games well without a partner and where ridiculous scenarios about eight-sided light sabers are created. An age when books come to life and the humor of a giraffe at a school looking for the bathroom door that is labeled for giraffes dissolves us into fits of giggles. And an age when I’m still pretty cool. Yes, I’m looking forward to this!
I pulled the one year old, still in his highchair, into the kitchen to watch as I washed dishes. Turning the faucet on, I asked my oldest if he would wipe down the table for me. A water fight ensued and he wiped down the table while I wiped up the kitchen!
Humming, I set to work on the dishes.
My seven year old had a seat at the art table and began a project. The art table is set up in what is intended to be the breakfast nook of our kitchen. However, for us, it’s an art room/cloak room. The art table is an old flat door attached to 2×4’s. It sports paint stains, heat marks (from canning applesauce), stickers, glue, glitter, and Play-Doh–it bears the marks of art/craft love. I love this spot in our house. I love seeing our kids spend hours cutting, pasting, coloring ,painting, creating, and imagining at this art table.
My mind wanders as I scrub, the baby babbles and drops his cheese on the floor. Smiling, I pick up the cheese as I respond to my son’s request to double check the spelling of ‘obey’ and then ‘disobey.’ He and the brother a year younger than him love to author and illustrate stories of all sorts! I am used as a dictionary and thesaurus frequently. Intrigued by his choice of words, I wait for him to explain. He didn’t, so I went back to washing and a few minutes later he double checks the spelling of words such as, ‘lonely,’ ‘hurt,’ ‘steal,’ ‘heaven,’ and ‘everything.’ Now I’m bubbling with curiosity, and fortunately, he explains. He is writing a mini book about the things Jesus wants us to do titled, Follow Jesus’ Doings
I was astonished! “I wrote things like, ‘obey’, ‘help others who are lonely,’ ‘do good things,’ ‘help others who are hurt,” he explained. My heart filled with so much love for this little boy! We actively talk about the Savior and His role in our lives at our house. We regularly discuss the things Christ did while on this earth and how we want to become like Him. I thought to myself, “I wonder if this is a little bit how our Heavenly Father feels when we catch on! When we come to Him in study and prayer and when we reach out, serve, and teach those around us. What a blessed moment! To see my son, developing faith and a testimony of our Savior, His Life and His Role!”
I finish the dishes, clean up the baby, and sit with him on my lap while my oldest shares with me his completed book. The book is folded in thirds, which he unfolds slowly reading each small section to me, “Color good things. Do good things. Help others who are doing bad things to do good things. Jesus is good. He made everything for us.” Each section had a saying or a picture representing something of the Savior’s life. Everything from Sacrament trays, to the Tomb from which Christ rose! I watched in silent awe, as he carefully unfolded each new section and explained the picture or read it to me. I felt so much joy.
“Children are an heritage of the Lord” Psalm 127: 3 Their faith is so quiet, so pure and so earth-shattering.
Reader Question: My pastor made a point in his sermon last week of stating that church should be about one thing only, deepening a personal relationship with Jesus Christ of the Bible. Not even making friends or strengthening family or marriage relationships, just to learn about Jesus, that’s it, by studying the Bible, verse by verse. He said to do anything else puts the focus on us and our needs, not His. I think this is a real line in the sand. And instead of socializing with other believers outside of church, we should go into our room, shut the door, read the Bible and pray to Jesus, the one and only God. Not just the one and only God “for us”, the only one anywhere. What are your thoughts on this?
To gather an answer to your question, we talked to our adult kids. We also asked our local missionaries, because we knew they could help us. The answer from our local elders was the same as from our family: Part of a deeper personal relationship with Jesus Christ is trying to become like Him, to act like Him, to treat others as He did. Christ “went about doing good” and so should we. Christ served others all His life by being among them and commanded us to become like Him and follow His example: “Feed my lambs.” We believe that serving others as Christ would serve them deepens our understanding of Christ in real life application, not just in theory. By reading and studying the scriptures, you will find that Christ wants us to love and serve one another.
If you and I were to ask Christ directly, we think that He would say that the focus IS on us and our needs. What Paul calls “the heavenly gift” is the great Atonement worked on our behalf by the Savior. The ultimate aim of that gift is to bring us, the spirit sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father, back into His presence. To qualify for that, we must learn to be like the Savior; patient, obedient, kind, generous, and so forth. Studying Jesus’ life and works will help us understand what we must do, but practicing Christlike attributes in families, at church and elsewhere, will help us to become like Him. Thus, the most effective way to live the life of a Christian is not to shut ourselves away from others but to live and serve among our brothers and sisters here on earth.
We hope this answers your question and helps you understand us better and how to become more like Christ.
And let us know how we may help you further! If you find that you have any questions about religious issues that you’ve been wondering about or that you haven’t been able to get good answers to, feel free to continue on discussion with us. It turns out that there are a lot of people with questions, and most of them have given up on churches as a source of answers. In our family, it is our experience that answers are out there, that God wants us to have them, and that they tend to be answers we like and have learned to appreciate. Working together with Heavenly Father allows anyone to find certainty in uncertain times.
-Dave and the MormonPanorama Family
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WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:
Address, “Ask the Missionaries! They Can Help You!”, Elder Russell M. Nelson, LDS General Conference, Oct 2012—www .lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/ask-the-missionaries-they-can-help-you?lang=eng
Have you ever been so grungy that you clearly felt unclean? In St. Tammany Parish, Louisiana, in the days after Hurricane Katrina, I joined a group of volunteers to help people clean up and repair their homes in the communities of Covington and Mandeville on the north side of Lake Pontchartrain. It was grueling work, and we were truly grungy. We overnighted at a local church with no power and no shower facilities. Someone came up with the brilliant idea to make an outdoor camp shower by drooping a garden hose over the top of a fence as a makeshift shower. For modesty, tarps were thrown over the fences, allowing a couple hundred volunteers from a dozen states to take a decent shower. I was surprised that it felt so good to be clean after a long day of backbreaking labor—and from such a small and simple thing.
Staying Clean And Sober
I remember a close friend who worked very hard to stay clean, a young father with five small children. He had severe substance abuse problems with various substances, but he had recently developed a deeper desire to conquer them, to really lick it this time. On one visit, we had just sat down to talk with Jason and his wife, when he interrupted, “How do you do it, Dave? How do you get us to feel these things?” After that, we opened our hearts to each other like never before, and our souls were knit together like brothers. Each time, we would plan our next visit, a week away or more often a month away, depending on what he felt he needed for support. Sometimes, in the dead of night, he would just call me out of the blue and say, “Please come, Dave. I need your help. I need to stay clean.” These were some of my favorite moments, sitting and talking in the dark on the small stoop outside his home. But I simply could not go to see him often enough, and I looked forward to each visit with all my heart.
Getting Clean, Staying Clean
These experiences remind me of how I felt on the day I was baptized. I was eight years old, and I think I was prepared to understand its value. In the months leading up to it, I remember distinctly talking to some young friends who had been baptized recently about how if I were to do any big-time sinning, I had better do it quickly before I was baptized so that I could wash away all those wrongs. While I didn’t yet have the attitude that God wanted me to have in recognizing the sacrifices that His Son has made on my behalf, it was clear that I understood the meaning of the ordinance of baptism as a symbol of cleansed sins and living a new life.
So, here are some secrets of staying clean:
Recognize the need to get clean.
Commit to getting clean.
Put yourself in situations/places where you may stay clean.
Ask for clean help when you need it.
Be honestly curious. Learn more about staying clean.
I have learned for myself the importance of getting clean and staying clean. For me, the symbolic cleansing of baptism is a vital part of me doing so.
Alma Baptizing People (Mosiah 18:7-17)
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Bonus Material:
1. Read or listen: Alma baptizing as people came into the church of Jesus Christ, Mosiah 18:7-17 (in The Book of Mormon)
2. Watch, listen, or read James E. Faust’s address regarding this sacred ordinance, entitled, “Born Again”. (Length: 18:02.)
Have you ever felt the delight of rebirth from restoring a garden, breathing new life into the soil with the work of your hands? I’ve found that digging a hole in the yard can be a great stress reliever. Whether the result be a vegetable garden, flower garden, water garden, or rock garden, the creative act of re-awakening a previously well-tended plot grows plenty of comfort and joy.
The same sense of recovering something of worth may come from restoring a chair or a desk. Furniture restoration not only reclaims the beauty of an old furniture friend, it can add to the elegance of your home, and the joy of revival can be just as satisfying as for a restored garden.
Have you had the joy of restoring the trust of a friend? A renewed confidence is more poignant if, as a headstrong loved one, I have turned myself from unruly ways, returning from an unwise path of my own obstinate will, back to the path of submitting to the will of another—And by so doing, discovering that he was always the wiser. While a recalcitrant, I treasured my errant ways, blindly unaware of my short-sightedness, until I rebuilt the foundation of the original shared trust that I had dismantled. The reawakened trust is especially sweet when for years my friend has invited me to return to his wiser ways.
My topic in this post is restoring a faith that has fizzled. Since Father Adam and Mother Eve, God has established His teachings among us. Because He loves us and because we are prone to wander, God gave us guidelines of good, better, best. And because we are prone to wander, we all have strayed from those guidelines, even when we know better. Each time a person strays, he or she may return through repentance. Each time a people strays, God always has sent someone to teach and persuade society yet again. That’s what He did with the Childrenof Israel, with the peoplein Christ’s day, and with the people who lived long after Christ. Watch how one person explains that he noticed a period of falling away (length: 2:04).
So what did God do? Even when I notice a broken chair or a disregarded plot of ground, I may choose to do nothing but simply to continue to neglect it. But when it comes to truth, God chose to restore the teachings that we had chosen to neglect. He sees our unyielding self, misguided intents, resistant societies—And He continues to see something of worth in us and sends someone to recover it. Watch as someone explains how she learned this for herself (length: 1:27).
Consider how Heavenly Father works with us. When we strayed from Adam’s teachings, God sent a babe in the bullrushes to bring us back to His ways. When we strayed again, He sent His Son as the Babe of Bethlehem to restore the Balm of Gilead, to redeem the world, and to bring us back to His ways. When we strayed yet again, He sent an uneducated, unvarnished farm boy of no renown, who asked important questions with confidence that God would reveal to him the answers. And God answered his prayers, because He trusted him to care for Hispeople and for His truths. He knew that the young man would tend them well and make them grow.
I have learned for myself the beauty and elegance of these truths that God has restored, truths that have allowed me to rebuild my trust in Him. I have renewed and strengthened my faith, so that no matter what happens, despite pain and trials and difficulties, I can be safe and secure. As I become a person that Heavenly Father may trust, as He rebuilds me into the simple beauty of a finished chair, I should not be surprised that, as did Harry T. Burleigh, I find “a religious security as old as creation, older than hope, deeper than grief, more tender than tears.” I know these things are true, that the faith that God has restored is true. Everyone on earth may know these truths for themselves, directly from God. And that’s why I’m a Mormon.
The Simple Beauty Of A Finished Chair
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Bonus Material:
1. Harry T. Burleigh, the pioneering African-American singer/composer, published in 1916 the song Deep River, which speaks both of emancipation from physical captivity and of an assurance of spiritual relief. It was the first (and would prove to be the most popular) of Burleigh’s published vocal arrangements. He regarded these songs as “prayers” that proclaim “a religious security as old as creation, older than hope, deeper than grief, more tender than tears.” (See The Crisis, Page 29.) Watch Paul Robeson sing Deep River in 1940:
2. Not all moments in time are alike. Some moments are more pregnant with meaning than others. It’s a rare experience to see God eye to eye. Such was the experience of Joseph Smith. Elder Neal A. Maxwell tells of the experience of Professor Arthur Henry King’s response, after he read it, to the prophet Joseph Smith’s account of the First Vision. Brother King said: (By the way, this is the quintessential Englishman, with bowler hat and many degrees, and this is how he reacted to the First Vision.)
“When I was first brought to read Joseph Smith’s story, I was deeply impressed. I wasn’t inclined to be impressed; as a stylistician, I have spent my life being disinclined to be impressed. So when I read his story, I thought to myself: This is an extraordinary thing. This is an astonishingly matter-of-fact and cool account. This man is not trying to persuade me of anything. He doesn’t feel the need to. He is stating what happened to him, and he is stating it not enthusiastically, but in a quite matter-of-fact way. He is not trying to make me cry or feel ecstatic. That struck me, and that began to build my testimony, for I could see that this man was telling the truth. And his was not the prose of someone who was trying to work it out and make it nice. It is the prose of someone who is trying to tell it as it is, who is bending all his faculties to expressing the truth and not thinking about anything else. And above all, though writing about Joseph Smith, not thinking about Joseph Smith, not thinking about the effect he is going to have on others, not posturing, not posing, but just being himself.” (1991 CES Old Testament Symposium.)
All of us may know for ourselves that God has restored the fulness of the gospel to us through the prophet Joseph Smith. The Book of Mormon isn’t just a popular musical; it’s a book that changes lives every day. Will yours change?
3. Come, Thou Fount Of Every Blessing, traditional American hymn, arrangement by Mack Wilberg, sung by Mormon Tabernacle Choir:
4. Watch how God prepared to restore the unchanged gospel of Jesus Christ through Joseph Smith’s search for truth. (Length: 19:18.) Read also in Joseph’s own words.
5. Watch a motion picture about the life and legacy of Joseph Smith, the founding prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (Length: 1:02:04.)
6. Watch, listen, or read President Boyd K. Packer’s entire address regarding these restored eternal truths, entitled, “The Standard of Truth Has Been Erected”. (Length: 16:37.)
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WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:
Photo, family restores garden—www. watergardengems.com/index/index.php/about-us/our-testimonials
We live in a world in which there is great uncertainty and uneasiness. In the bustle of everyday life it is easy to get caught up in the frequent demands on our time, endless sources of distraction, and unlimited sources of entertainment. At times we face momentous challenges which can entirely overcome us. We can be left wanting, wishing for something greater, reaching for something we have not yet found, searching for peace.
As a physician I work with many individuals who suffer from physical and mental discontent. My patients come to me wanting. Wanting help controlling their blood pressure. Wanting guidance in their choices of healthy living. Wanting relief from great burdens of pain and mental anguish. Many are seeking peace in one respect or another.
At times it is difficult to obtain peace, because our minds are caught up in so many other things. We may seek for it in quiet meditation, doing the things we love, in the company of those we cherish, in food, in exercise, in health, in substances, or in escape. If we are searching for peace in the wrong sources we find that it does not comfort us to the extent we wish. We may experience it in glimpses, only to have it fade away from us. And again we are left wanting.
The more the years pass in my life, the more I value the sweet tranquility of peace. How do we find enduring peace?
Jesus Christ gives us pure insight:
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.” – John 14:27
He offers us true and lasting peace. Peace which does not fade with time. Peace which comforts our unsettled minds and hearts. Peace which can reliably be found. Peace which comes alone through Him: Jesus Christ.
I know that there is a God in Heaven. He is a perfect, and Eternal Father. He loves us as His spirit children. He has a plan for our well-being. A plan for our peace. This plan involves our journey to this earth, and our experiences in mortality. He prepared His Great Son, Jesus Christ, as the center of His plan for our peace. This plan, and it’s source in Jesus Christ, was taught through the ages by prophets: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, and many others. Each of them spoke of Jesus Christ. They knew that He would come as harbinger of peace to all on earth. He did come. He lived among men. Although He lived a perfect life, He “suffered temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer” (Mosiah 3:7). And He did this for us. “He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5). Through Him we can find lasting peace.
The other day, my 4-year-old son and I were looking for bugs, and he wanted to hold a “roly-poly”. He was having a good time. I looked away and turned back, and I didn’t see the roly poly anymore. I asked where it went, and he said, “I smushed him with my fingers because I was done playing with him.” I told him sternly that we don’t do that, and later when he was recounting the scene to Amanda, he said, “I smushed him, which was not nice—He is dead, and he needs a Jesus roly poly to make him come back alive again.” I almost peed my pants. I think Amanda spit out whatever was in her mouth.
My younger son, who is two, just figured out that he can bother my older just as much as he is harassed him. Aaaaaaaaah… these kids… How did you do it, Mom and Dad?! Sometimes I secretly wonder if there were more of us kids to begin with and Mom and Dad only kept the better products alive….my 2-year-old is super cute though.
My older son is crazy, funny, frustrating, and messy. He loves to draw! He is very good at taking apart clicky pens and putting them back together successfully, springs and all. Sometimes, he doesn’t feel like putting them back together and thinks that playing with the ink is more fun—as we learned last week. I got home from work, and he was in his room having some quiet time and drawing. When I went to check on him a while later, he had pen ink smeared all over his face, legs, arms, stuffed animals, dresser, bed, box fan, and the walls of his bedroom. It was like someone threw a paint grenade in there. I started to yell and told him he could never use a pen again, when he burst into tears and said, “Daddy, Daddy, I drew a picture for you, see?! See, Daddy, this is for you!” I almost burst into tears looking at him with tears streaming down his face and his bottom lip quivering just trying to show me his accomplishment. Whelp… So much for that discipline… Daddy’s a sucker and just melted like Silly Putty melts into carpet (another story for some other time…). I gave him a big hug and told him how proud I was of his drawing. I still told him that his stuffed animals were gone and that he could never use pens again (today, he is still only drawing with pencils).
This experience allowed me to reflect on the Savior’s atonement for each of us. I thought of how many times I have screwed up in my life and the Lord has been very patient with me. It was those experiences, knowing that I have been in my 4 year old’s shoes so many times throughout my life, that allowed me to keep my cool and be proud of his drawing. It was difficult, and I was still very disappointed in his behavior, but I wanted him to know I was proud of his accomplishments. I feel this is how the Savior is with each of us. He is disappointed when we make poor decisions that we know are wrong, but He is there for us to join us in our celebrations of our accomplishments, and He encourages us to make better choices in the future.
Splatter Of Ink
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WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:
I used to picture life as a fist fight…in the rain. Perhaps that is because I’m currently at home with four young children (a stage in life oft referred to as “in the trenches”), I’m not sure but a muddy fist fight is what life looked like. If I drew a picture I would have drawn a brown rippling circle, a Goliath stick figure with a little mud on his shins and t-shirt that said, “LIFE EATS PEOPLE” or “GUNS DON’T KILL PEOPLE LIFE DOES” and a dinky stick figure face down in the mud with a large arrow labeling it, “whitney”
A few months after my 3rd child was born, during my husband’s last year of medical school/intern year of residency, compounded by some mixed muddled thinking in my own head, depressed and anxiety ridden I thought about that muddy fist fight A LOT.
Generally speaking, I thought of myself as a fighter. And I used to be! Strong mentally and physically—breaking is not something I did. PAH! Oh, how the proud need to be humbled. There were times when I felt I was still in the fight but I wasn’t making any forward progress. In fact, I didn’t really have an offensive strategy at all. It was all defensive and evasion techniques. Soon I lacked the strength to even be evasive. It took everything I had just to take the hits and stay on my feet. I was so exhausted.
Then the hits started to hurt and they started to break things. Then my will cracked and I flounder about lost. Within months, I was lying face down in the mud trying to figure out where I was and how I came to be there. One evening my husband sat on the end of the bed and said, “Whitney, I think we need to get you some help.”
Over the next several months of healing I realized a few things I want to share:
First, when you get that low the outcome of your fight is determined by the decision you make with your face in the mud. Do you lay there, conquered, and die? Or do you tap out? Tapping out is probably the most difficult thing I have ever done. I had no idea the strength it would take to truly yield my will to the Father’s, trust in the power of the Atonement, and turn over my burdens. Even as debilitated as I was, I felt it necessary to finish the fight on my own.
Segue way to another thing I learned: this fight is not intended or designed to be solo. You know those scriptures that talk about not being tempted/tried above your ability to handle it. NEWS FLASH WHITNEY: If you attempt to take it on, on your own, YOU WILL FAIL. Our lives are a partnership with Heavenly Father through the Gift of the Holy Ghost. In our mortal existence we are blessed with all the things necessary to successfully navigate our trials and return home to live with our Eternal Father and our families. We are blessed with scriptures, prophets, The Holy Ghost, prayer, families, and Priesthood leadership all to aid us in our fight for life and our eternal welfare.
While these were principles I knew in theory—I had topically study: faith, hope, patience, and humility in detail before—living out the very literal application of these Christ-like characteristics is a completely different experience and lends to a whole new realm of understanding. Especially, I think, in situations where not only do you need to turn to your Savior to pull out of this one, but some professional help as well.
Doctrine and Covenants 98:12 “For he will give unto the faithful line upon line, precept upon precept; and I will try you and prove you herewith.”
Isaiah 28:10 “For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little:”
So, why the heck didn’t I tap out earlier and spare myself the pain and suffering? Pride. Had I been humble enough to endure my trials with the Lord as my co-pilot… had I been teachable enough to listen and learn without being ‘compelled to be humble’… my ability to be long-suffering would have been enhanced and the shirt on stick figure me would have read, HEAVEN POWERS MY PUNCHES.
Now, a few years later, I try to remember to start out turning to the Lord. Through Him my burdens are lightened and I can feel peace in my trials. And I tend to view life as a climb, rather than a fight. It’s hard work, there are some easy stretches and some extremely difficult ones. Sometimes you move up and sometimes you slip and slide down. In order to be safe, you must have other people aiding you in your climb. You still get scratches, bruises, and broken bones, but there are always resources and people there to help you, lead you, and cheer you on.
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matt 11:38 KJV
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