Category Archives: Temples/Family History/Genealogy

Never Been Easier To Share Your Life With Others

Posted on October 17, 2015 by Dave | Leave a comment

When I started writing my personal history, I was 18 years old, just out of high school, and I found it difficult simply to get started. I bought a nicely bound journal, but I wanted to start on scrap paper so that it would look good for my kids and grandkids when I wrote my thoughts in the journal. I had untold false starts and threw away tons of scrap paper with scratched out paragraphs. I was young, but I still wanted to include some challenges that I had experienced, some times when I succeeded, as well as times when I felt things down deep. I wrote about people who were important to me. After several months, I had about thirty pages of my life to date, and I was pleased with it.

I wish I had had this list of starter questions. It would have made it tons easier, possibly with fewer false starts. I happen to be a person who loves to ask questions. Maybe there are some questions on this list that makes family history easier for you?

Dave As A Baby

Once you get a good start on what you want to leave behind about yourself, if you wish to consider doing something similar for your parents, grandparents, or other ancestors, a 30-page booklet called My Family: Stories That Bring Us Together is an easy way to get you kickstarted. You can print the PDF file or fill it out online for free.

Hope this helps you to get started on your family history. I’ve had a lot of fun gathering info over the years, and I hope you find it fun, too.

Dave with his barbershop quartet from high school, at the state fair

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Posted in Family Relationships, Fun/Wholesome Recreation, Personal Challenges, Temples/Family History/Genealogy, Worship/Testimony/Feeling Things Down Deep

Tagged Teenagers, Trusting Oneself

Forever Begins Today

Posted on June 17, 2015 by Brittany | Leave a comment

“BEEP, BEEP BEEP!” It’s 6:30 AM and after a rude awakening by the alarm clock, my sister and I sluggishly get out of bed. After packing the car on this cold December morning, we are off to my aunt’s house. Upon our arrival, we receive a warm welcome with a sweet smile and a hot breakfast. In our excitement we had forgotten to eat so the pancakes dripping in maple syrup tasted absolutely delicious and helped to fill our empty bellies. My cousin’s husband asks, “So what are you up to today? You have any plans?” After he and I share a laugh it’s time for me to start getting ready. My sister and my cousin help me with my hair and make-up. My little sister is a rock star and helps me with all the little errands I need. There is a sense of energy and liveliness in the house, as if everyone knows that there is something different about today. For you see, today is not just any other ordinary day, it is my wedding day.

The photographer and videographer arrive and the reality still hasn’t quite set in that I am about to marry my best friend and the love of my life. My family waves me off as I rush out the door to drive to the temple, the house of the Lord, where my future husband was waiting for me. Since I needed to be there before my extended family, I went ahead and drove by myself. I laughed at the fact that I was driving myself to my own wedding. I guess I always pictured it a little differently. I was a little nervous about finding my way and arriving on time. Along the way, I talked with my Heavenly Father. I was in awe of His plan for me.Then all of a sudden I saw my parents in their car on the freeway. We drove next to each other a bit and it felt like I wasn’t alone anymore. My belief that God truly does love me and wants me to be happy was renewed and strengthened. We arrived at the temple in a timely fashion and I felt at peace.

Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of the day that I would marry my prince in the Lord’s Holy House (see temple). I knew that I wanted to find a worthy man who believed in God, followed Christ, lifted those around him, served a mission, and who was worthy to take me to the temple to be sealed for time and all eternity. And that day had finally come!

My parents helped me carry all my bags inside. There were many people already there but as I looked around I was only concerned about a special someone. When I saw him we walked up to each other and after a hug and a kiss we were escorted to our rooms to change and prepare for the moment we had been preparing, waiting, and anxiously counting down to for months (seriously, I still remember when Kevin, my husband to be, said we only had 42 more nights to say goodbye. 42?! That seemed like a lifetime to me!)

The sealer, the man who has the priesthood authority, talked us through what was about to happen then gave us some time by ourselves to talk and again, an overwhelming sense of peace came over me. I knew that God was happy with the decision that Kevin and I had made to be sealed in the temple. When we walked into the sealing room, our friends, family, and loved ones were all gathered waiting for us. All eyes were on us and we were exploding with happiness! Kevin and I were able to kneel across an altar. Each time we caught eyes we couldn’t help but smile. We made sacred covenants to God that day. We entered into the everlasting covenant of marriage and were sealed together for not only time but also eternity. It wasn’t about ‘til death do you part’, it was about forever, our forever.

I didn’t just make a promise with Kevin that day, that I would take care of him and stay by his side, I made a promise with God. Through the sealing ordinance I was able to promise God that I would take care of Kevin, love him, and fight for our marriage. So even more than my love and commitment to Kevin is my love and commitment to God; someone who is always perfect and unchanging, who is just and in whom I can put my complete trust, faith, and reliance on. This is a promise and a covenant that Kevin and I both intend on keeping. It is going to take time, commitment, love, sacrifice and so much more, but it will be worth it.

A great example to illustrate this was made by a man named F. Burton Howard. He told a story about how all his wife ever wanted for their wedding when they were poor college students was silverware. She didn’t receive that gift for her wedding so she scrimped and saved to buy a set which she collected one piece at a time. Over the years they would only bring the set out on special occasions and she would make sure that each piece of silver was polished and had no blemishes. This is what her husband said of her, “For years I thought she was just a little bit eccentric, and then one day I realized that she had known for a long time something that I was just beginning to understand. If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by. Eternal marriage is just like that. We need to treat it just that way.” (see his talk here)

Kevin and I proved that we want our marriage to last forever by getting married in the temple and now we need to continue to prove it daily through our actions. It won’t always be easy, but then again, rarely are the things that are of the most worth easy.

It has been said, “This will be the most important decision of your life, the individual whom you marry. . . . Marry the right person in the right place at the right time” (“Life’s Obligations,” Ensign).

The right person for me was, and is, Kevin and the right time was a blistering cold winter day. As far as the right place? Well for me it was the temple!

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Here is a great document about the importance of families that I absolutely love!

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Posted in Diligence/Discipleship, Faith, Family Relationships, Ordinances/Covenants, Temples/Family History/Genealogy, Worship/Testimony/Feeling Things Down Deep

Tagged Breaking Barriers, Commitment, Culture, Discarding Doubt, Family Ties, Freedom To Choose, God's Way—Not Mine, Keeping Promises, Peculiar People, Second Chances, Seeing People Deeper, Self-imposed Goals, Stand In Holy Places, Strength And Virtue, Walking By Faith, Young Adults

How Do I Teach A Teen To Step Out In Faith? Our Family’s Answer.

Posted on December 5, 2014 by MormonPanorama | Leave a comment

Reader Question:
How do I teach a teenager around fifteen years old to step out in faith?

Family Answer:
This truly is a good question. In our family, and as Mormons, we believe strongly that sincere, honest questions are always a good thing. To gather answers to this question, we talked to our adult kids and their spouses, and here are the answers we gathered:

When Jesus walked on water and invited Peter to come join him, Peter’s faith waxed, and Peter walked on water for a three or six feet. When Peter’s faith waned, Christ said to him:

O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

Watch, and focus on how amazing it would be to walk that three feet. With His question, was Christ scolding Peter, beckoning Peter to think how he might walk further next time, maybe a bit of both?

(Or watch/download same video at lds.org link.)

For many of us, if not all of us, from time to time, faith may either wax or wane. What are some ways that we may teach our kids or grandkids not only to walk by faith but to step out in faith? Not just to mosey along the strait and narrow but rather to hasten down the path. Not just to act in faith but to act in faith with a bit of spunk!

Here are some ways that worked that we have found to teach 15-yr-old-ish teenagers to step out in faith:

Set an example; model the behavior.
Teenagers need to be taught, “Stick to your guns!” I hated it when my mom told me that, but now that I’m older, I now know that it was exactly what I needed to hear.
Teach the Why. Help teenagers understand the Why of things, both in and out of a religious realm. Beginning at 13 or 14 years old, you need to feed those cognitive processes.
Help teens see the need to be anxiously engaged in the gospel.
Encourage teenagers to bear testimony, to attend testimony meetings or other group opportunities to share what they know, to share that they know. Even if they’re silent the whole time, they get to be thinking about their own testimony for 45 minute or whatever. You think, “I don’t have anything to say, and maybe I should.” I definitely learned things from standing and sharing with friends my feelings about spiritual things.
One of the best things you did, Dad, when I pushed back and challenged you on stuff, was to say, “Because I’m your father.” I had to suck it in and do it anyway, only because you asked me. Heavenly Father does the same thing to all of us, over and over, and He expects me to do it even if I don’t understand, even if I don’t agree that it’s right.
My parents were so Mormon all the time. I kept thinking, “Do we have to be so Mormon all the time?” It took me a while to finally get that, Yes, we do! We do this to be the same inside and outside the home, just like Atticus Finch (of To Kill a Mockingbird fame).
After a lesson for family home evening, I love that we always posted the lesson visuals on the walls around the house. Same with pictures of the temple, of Christ, of the Family Proclamation. It helped remind me, but it also gave me missionary opportunities. It taught me not to be embarrassed by friends’ questions, no matter what they were.
In our home, we had a picture of Christ in our front room. All my friends, as they left, they’d always say, “ ‘Bye, Jesus!” It was a bit flippant, but it was never snide, and it helped my friends in and out of the Church to maintain a proper standard of behavior, no matter where we were.
All the things that we’ve listed apply not only to teenagers but also to people of any age, even to adults.

And let us know how we may help you further! If you find that you have any questions about religious issues that you’ve been wondering about or that you haven’t been able to get good answers to, feel free to continue on discussion with us. It turns out that there are a lot of people with questions, and most of them have given up on churches as a source of answers. In our family, it is our experience that answers are out there, that God wants us to have them, and that they tend to be answers we like and have learned to appreciate. Working together with Heavenly Father allows anyone to find certainty in uncertain times.

-Dave and the MormonPanorama Family

——– End of Post ——–

Bonus Materials:

1. Read, watch or listen: Elder Neal A. Maxwell’s entire address, delivered as he was called to be one of the twelve apostles of Jesus Christ.

2. Watch or listen: Videos on Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

——– End of Bonus Materials ——–

WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Photo, Waves-in-Hawaii—www. org/media-library/images/oceans?lang=eng
Photo, Community-on-the-ocean—www. lds.org/media-library/images/oceans?lang=eng

——– End of WebCredits ——–

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Posted in Ask Us A Question: Our Family’s Answer, Commandments/God's Laws, Diligence/Discipleship, Education/Knowledge, Faith, Family Relationships, Godhead: Heavenly Father/Jesus Christ/The Holy Ghost, Hope, Patience, Temples/Family History/Genealogy, Worship/Testimony/Feeling Things Down Deep

Tagged Breaking Barriers, Come; Follow Me, Commitment, Deep Discussions, Discarding Doubt, Fight For What's Right, Freedom To Choose, Fun, Influence/Always Teaching, Out-of-the-box Thinking, Peculiar People, Seeing People Deeper, Self-imposed Goals, Stand In Holy Places, Standards Of Behavior, Strength And Virtue, Teenagers, Trusting Oneself, Trusting Others, Walking By Faith

What’s In It For Me?

Posted on September 28, 2014 by Dave | Leave a comment

2010 Earthquake in Haiti

Why religion? How about all this God stuff? If he exists, why would a god be concerned with us? What’s in it for me?

Women from around the world share thoughtful answers. I especially like what the mother from Haiti has to say: “The Holy Temple”

In Oklahoma, a close friend of mine said Yes to being my assistant as I headed our local priesthood quorum of adults. In the preceding years, Scot had not been attending a church of any kind, and he hadn’t been sure what he thought about God. He worked as a laborer, he was quiet and unassuming, humble and meek, and he certainly didn’t seek out any chance for God to be concerned with him. He was in constant pain, caused by pinched nerves in his lower spine, yet always bore a sincere cheerfulness that made everyone smile. I knew him to be a hard worker and a good man, saw his skills as a husband and as a father, and wanted him to work by my side as we went about the work of watchcare of others. As we made personal visits to the brothers in our quorum, helping them to bless their families, together we learned a lot about priesthood leadership, and I loved working with Scot. It was wonderful to see him grow over time in his confidence in approaching others, in the way he made spiritual and leadership decisions, and in his understanding of how God was truly concerned with him. Scot was a perfect example of never asking, “What’s in it for me?”

Here’s what my niece has to say about her experience at a prestigious university in the mid-West. She has learned not only the importance of religion but also the importance of not asking what’s in it for her:

Yesterday, I was talking with a friend who was surprised and a little baffled at all the time I spend “socially” with Church. True, there are lots of activities and events that I would consider social, but I don’t consider Church (or rather, Christ) to be my social life—It’s my whole life, and everything else is an appendage to it. Christ is why I go to school, Christ is why I go to work, Christ is why I do the things I do (or don’t do some of the things others do). It changes my perspective, and I then see more than earthly potential and temporary influences of even the smallest things. It’s not always easy; I’m far from perfect, but I know it’s true.

Here’s what President Uchtdorf teaches us, including what he calls the central question for the selfish person, “What’s in it for me?”:

Being a disciple of Jesus Christ is not an effort of once a week or once a day. It’s an effort for once and for all. (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Are You Sleeping Through the Restoration?”, Apr 2014 LDS General Conference.)

And from President Oscarson on feeling these things down deep:

We often refer to the scripture that “where much is given, much is required.” I believe that a close corollary to this is that “where much is required, much more will be given.” In other words, if we expect more of our youth, they will step up to the challenge, and I do believe that we need to require more of them. We need to step up our teaching so that our youth do more on their own to understand the doctrines of Christ and the reality of the Restoration, and we need to find a way to motivate them to write these things on the “tablets of their hearts.” (Bonnie L. Oscarson, Young Women General President, Annual Seminaries and Institutes training broadcast on establishing greater expectations of our youth.)

To me, religion is of vital importance. I have taught my adult children to move beyond questions like, “What’s in it for me?” I have learned that I am happiest when I focus not on serving myself but rather on serving others.

Haiti Earthquake, Disaster Relief

——– End of Post ——–

Bonus Materials:

“Glorious”, with lyrics by David Archuleta (well worth 2:53 of your time)

——– End of Bonus Materials ——–

WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Photo, “2010 Earthquake in Haiti”—commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2010_Haiti_earthquake_damage3.jpg
Photo, “Haiti Earthquake, Disaster Relief”—www. lds.org/manual/new-testament-student-manual/introduction-to-matthew/chapter-8?lang=eng
Photo, “Watchcare Isn’t Complicated: Three Women And Watchcare Of Others”—www. ganellyn.com/tag/watch-care/

——– End of WebCredits ——–

Watchcare Isn’t Complicated: Three Women And Watchcare Of Others

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Posted in Charity/The Pure Love of Christ, Cultural Arts/Music/Dance, Diligence/Discipleship, Education/Knowledge, Faith, Humility, Meekness, Serving Others, Temples/Family History/Genealogy, Worship/Testimony/Feeling Things Down Deep

Tagged Breaking Barriers, Come; Follow Me, Commitment, Culture, Deep Discussions, Influence/Always Teaching, Out-of-the-box Thinking, Peculiar People, Progression, Seeing People Deeper, Serving Others, Spectrum Of Opinion, Standards Of Behavior, Teamwork, Trusting Oneself, Young Adults

Why Can’t My Brother See His Son’s Wedding? Our Family’s Answer.

Posted on August 2, 2014 by MormonPanorama | Leave a comment

Happy First Anniversary, MormonPanorama!

Exactly a year ago, I published our family’s first post, which was about my friend, Patrice. You may remember that she happened to need a bit of space after our earlier conversation. Here’s an update. Patrice is now consistently talking to me as a good friend, and we are able to open our hearts more to each other’s challenges. Her most recent challenge regards a nephew soldier who decided a while ago that he wanted to join the LDS Church and now is getting married in a Mormon temple. Patrice’s brother (the soldier groom’s dad) is unable to attend the wedding, and she is upset and asks. “Why can’t my brother see their wedding?”

That brief majestic moment after every sunset when you may see heaven and earth at the same time…

It’s a good question and not uncommon. I answered that our son, Todd, will be married next month and that we have several friends who happen not to belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as well as friends who belong to our church but cannot enter the temple for a variety of reasons, who will fly to our town and then drive with us seven hours to a temple in the tiny town of Nauvoo, Illinois. They’ve attended past weddings of our other kids at other temples, so they know the drill and happily choose to see us enter the temple and hug us 45 minutes later when we emerge. It’s no biggy for them and, to them, worth the repeat travel. They don’t share the same faith that we do, but they want to be close by when our kids get married for time and all eternity, because they love us and love our kids and simply want to celebrate with us because these occasions are so important to us. I explained to Patrice that it’s possible to view this chiefly as a matter of individual perspective, that individually we may choose to view a temple wedding as a negative thing or as a positive thing. She did not accept that and did not appreciate any effort to place attitudinal responsibility on her shoulders or on the shoulders of her brother. But over time, again, I think the idea will grow on her in the future, just as in the past another idea grew on her over a period of several weeks, the idea that I, as a Mormon, might continue to be a person that she likes. In the meantime, I work hard to continue a good friendly relationship between Patrice and me so that we continue to talk about things that we feel down deep.

In our family, and as Mormons, we believe strongly that sincere, honest questions are always a good thing. To gather other answers to this complex question, we talked to our adult kids, and here are the answers we gathered:

Kim explains:

I know it seems hard when family and much loved friends are not permitted to attend temple weddings. Many times parents and siblings have looked forward for years to this eventful day. However, temples of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are not simply houses of worship. They are sacred places whose holiness is maintained and protected by the worthiness of the people who enter them. Thus, only members of the Church in good standing can attend temple services, like weddings. However, everyone is welcome on the temple grounds, and family (including young siblings) and friends who are not able to enter the temple will find pleasant waiting rooms in most temples. Also, a temple wedding (called a “sealing”) is generally a short service, and the bride and groom are eager to greet loved ones when they leave the temple. Some of the happiest moments in my life as a parent have been watching my sons and their wives emerge smiling and happy from the doors of the temple.

I hope those who are not able to be present at the sealing will still come to the temple and be among the loved ones ready to share in the joy of the day.

Amanda shares with us:

The temple is a sacred place for Mormons, designed in a symbolically similar fashion as the first tabernacle in the Old Testament. Only the Levites were to enter the tabernacle and perform the sacred ceremonies. As in the days of Moses, the Lord has again prepared a sacred place for His children to attend to worship him and make covenants. But He wants us to be worthy to enter. So He has asked us to first show our commitment to Him by being baptized and confirmed a member of his church. He asks us to keep His commandments and continually witness to Him by partaking of the Sacrament each week that we are true followers. Then we interview with a bishop, who is a judge in Israel, answering questions about our relationship with God and whether or not we have been true to the covenants we have made. The bishop can then recommend us to enter a temple. The Temple is the Lord’s house where He can physically visit, and which we must keep sacred. So only those who have made the covenants to walk His path as members of the Church, are allowed to enter. This is not to keep others out; on the contrary, we want everyone to experience the blessings of the temple, but as a house of order, God has specific guidelines on how He wants us to go about it.

Many members of the church with non-member families choose to have a ring ceremony after getting married in the temple, as a way to include their family members that are unable to enter the temple. Whether or not a couple decides to do this, it is still a joyous occasion to celebrate a couple wanting to commit not only to each other, but also to promise God they will be loyal. In this way, we strive to come closer to our spouse as we grow closer to God.

We hope this answers your question and helps you to understand us better, to understand better a marriage and sealing in a Mormon temple, and to understand why Patrice’s nephew feels so strongly about getting married there.

-Dave and the MormonPanorama Family

——– End of Post ——–

Bonus Materials:

1. Why Temple Marriage?
https://www.lds.org/youth/article/why-temple-marriage?lang=eng

2. What to Expect at a Mormon Temple Wedding
http://www.ldschurchtemples.com/mormon/weddings/

——– End of Bonus Materials ——–

WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Photo, Big Dipper: “That brief majestic moment after every sunset when you may see heaven and earth at the same time…”
—timhansenphotography.com
Photo, couple-in-love7—www. lds.org/youth/article/why-temple-marriage?lang=eng

——– End of WebCredits ——–

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Posted in Ask Us A Question: Our Family’s Answer, Family Relationships, Gender Roles, Hope, Ordinances/Covenants, Peace, Priesthood/Authority from God, Temples/Family History/Genealogy, Virtue/Chastity, Worship/Testimony/Feeling Things Down Deep

Tagged Acceptance, Breaking Barriers, Deep Discussions, Family Ties, Fun, Global Faiths, Help In Our Desperate Hour, Keeping Promises, Out-of-the-box Thinking, Peculiar People, Priesthood Keys, Questioning Mind, Seeing People Deeper, Self-imposed Goals, Spectrum Of Opinion, Stand In Holy Places, Strength And Virtue, Teamwork

Crocodiles And A Questioning Mind

Posted on May 5, 2014 by Dave | 11 comments

To me, questions are truly important. So is a having a questioning mind.

I find that I form my best opinions from talking to people who aren’t like me. Even in (especially in) everyday conversations. Recently, a Muslim friend shared some of his frustrations at his job, and he helped me see some ways I can improve my own work. A friend who happens to be Ecumenical Christian discussed with me some community efforts. The views of a Jewish friend and her thoughts about ancestors in the Holocaust have helped me to have a new appreciation for finding more of my own family history. My Bahá’í neighbor and I continue to work closely together on an interfaith project; as we ask questions of each other, my faith is always growing. In all these discussions, I learned yet again that my way of thinking is not necessarily the only valid way to think. In all of them, I have felt the spirit of God. I peppered them with questions, as they did me. I look forward to exploring further views with friends in the future.

Whirlwinds of Life

Through this process, I have learned that not all questions have equal weight. There are bad and good questions. It depends on the results, on where our questions lead us. Some lead us to be fully exposed to the whirlwinds of life, while other questions lead us to a place of safety and peace. Many are a matter of good, better, best. While some questions lead us to stand in holy places full of light, others lead us only to darkness. Some questions are spiritual crocodiles.

(Or same video at lds.org link. Also, original talk.)

In our family, we prefer to avoid crocodiles and whirlwinds and to choose good questions that lead to places of safety and peace. As Mormons, it’s important that spiritually we stand in holy places and not allow ourselves to be moved from there.

Sometimes that’s a tough thing to do. At times, a whirlwind of answers can make us doubt our resolve, but I’ve learned that those answers always fail to satisfy in the long term. But as tough as it is to fight such winds, as tough as it is to wrestle a crocodile, I find that it’s even tougher to stand in a holy place when the sun is shining, when I think all is going well, when I let down my guard, and I’m no longer fighting an external wind but rather only fighting myself. That’s often when I notice that I’ve been asking the wrong questions again.

Temples in Bagan, Myanmar—Holy Places To Those Of Us Who Happen To Be Buddhists

In addition, here are some of the holy places that are important to people whom I know and love.

Al-Masjid al-Nabawi in Medina, Saudi Arabia—Holy Places To Those Of Us Who Happen To Be Muslims

If you were to stand in a holy place, where would you stand?

On the Ganges River at Varanasi, India—Holy Places To Those Of Us Who Happen To Be Hindus

Where do your questions lead you?

The Golden Temple in Amritsar, India—Holy Places To Those Of Us Who Happen To Be Sikhs

Do they help you stand in holy places?

I know the safety and peace that comes with standing in holy places. Honest questions, good questions, and answers from God help me to stand against the whirlwinds of life. Questions and open hearts help protect me and my family. Everyone is free to ask crocodile questions that drag people down or to ask discussion questions that build people up.

Crocodile Hiding, Lying In Wait

——– End of Post ——–

Bonus Material:

1. Watch, listen, or read Elder Neil L. Andersen as he talks to us about not letting whirlwinds drag us down but instead recognizing the need to stand strong, in his address, entitled “Spiritual Whirlwinds” (Length: 15:55.) See how the winds of trials may help us develop more solid roots at Time 3:08 through 3:45.

2. Additional holy places that are important to friends among us:

The Western Wall In Jerusalem By Night—Holy Places To Those Of Us Who Happen To Be Jews

···oO0···

The Shrine of Bahá’u’lláh near Acre, Israel—Holy Places To Those Of Us Who Happen To Be Bahá’ís

···oO0···

The Garden Tomb in Jerusalem—Holy Places To Those Of Us Who Happen To Be Christians

3. Holy places to Mormons
(to those of us who happen to be both Christians and Mormons):
https://www.lds.org/youth/video/standing-in-holy-places?lang=eng

——– End of Bonus Material ——–
WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Photo, “Whirlwinds of Life”—www.keyway.ca/htm2013/20130522.htm
Photo, Stand Ye In Holy Places And Be Not Moved—www. lds.org/new-era/2013/03/whats-up?lang=eng
Photo, “Temples in Bagan, Myanmar—Holy Places To Those Of Us Who Happen To Be Buddhists”—topyaps.com/top-10-buddhist-holy-places
Photo, “Al-Masjid al-Nabawi in Medina, Saudi Arabia—Holy Places To Those Of Us Who Happen To Be Muslims”—en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al-Masjid_al-Nabawi
Photo, “On the Ganges River at Varanasi, India—Holy Places To Those Of Us Who Happen To Be Hindus”—en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_places
Photo, “The Golden Temple in Amritsar, India—Holy Places To Those Of Us Who Happen To Be Sikhs”—en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_places
Photo, “Crocodile Hiding, Lying In Wait”—www. mrwallpaper.com/crocodile-eye-wallpaper/
Photo, “The Western Wall In Jerusalem By Night—Holy Places To Those Of Us Who Happen To Be Jews”—en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_places
Photo, “The Shrine of Bahá’u’lláh near Acre, Israel—Holy Places To Those Of Us Who Happen To Be Bahá’ís”—en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrine_of_Bah%C3%A1%27u%27ll%C3%A1h
Photo, “The Garden Tomb in Jerusalem—Holy Places To Those Of Us Who Happen To Be Christians”—classic.scriptures.lds.org/en/biblephotos/14
Photo, Stand In Holy Places (Mormonad)—www. lds.org/media-library/images/mormonad-stand-in-holy-places-1118464?lang=eng&category

——– End of WebCredits ——–

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Posted in Diligence/Discipleship, Education/Knowledge, Faith, Godhead: Heavenly Father/Jesus Christ/The Holy Ghost, Peace, Temples/Family History/Genealogy

Tagged Be Yourself, Crocodiles, Global Faiths, Questioning Mind, Stand In Holy Places, Teenagers, Whirlwinds, Young Adults

Unthinkable, Impossible, Unfathomable, Unprecedented

Posted on April 19, 2014 by Dave | Leave a comment

In this Easter season, we in our family want all of you to know that we believe in religious liberty, in upholding a strong tradition of civil discourse with people who aren’t like us, and in expressing a heart-felt faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. We say these things on our own initiative. We feel them deep in our hearts. They make us who we are. We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow everyone the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

Mary With The Resurrected Christ

We are glad that the Savior was born in a stable, died and came forth alive three days later with a resurrected and perfect body that would never perish, never go away. It’s because of Him that we live where traditions of religious liberty have thrived. It’s because of Him that we can be a forever family. It’s because of Him that we have the freedoms we enjoy.

“I believe that in time, with patience and good will, contending constitutional rights and conflicting personal values can be brought into mutually respectful accommodation.”
Excerpts from Elder Dallin H. Oaks’ Constitutional Symposium Address 16 April 2014. (Time 5:10.)

It was unthinkable, impossible, unfathomable, unprecedented.
He was a carpenter, a teacher, an outcast, a leader.
Like all who preceded Him, He lived, and He died.
But unlike all who preceded Him, He rose from the dead.
He lived again.
He lives, and because He lives, we all will live again.
Because of Him, death hath no sting, the grave no victory.
We can start again, and again, and again.
Because of Him, guilt becomes peace, regret becomes relief,
despair becomes hope.
Because of Him, we have second chances, clean slates, new beginnings.
There is no such thing as The End.
Because of Him:

(Or same video at lds.org link.)

——– End of Post ——–

Bonus Material:

1. Our Forever Family

2. My Kingdom is Not of This World

(Or same video at lds.org link.)

——– End of Bonus Material ——–

WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Photo, “Mary With The Resurrected Christ”—www. .lds.org/bible-videos/videos/my-kingdom-is-not-of-this-world?cid=HPTH041714699&lang=eng

——– End of WebCredits ——–

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Posted in Atonement/Christ's Sacrifice, Charity/The Pure Love of Christ, Commandments/God's Laws, Diligence/Discipleship, Faith, Forgiveness, Global Church, Godhead: Heavenly Father/Jesus Christ/The Holy Ghost, Peace, Personal Challenges, Prophets/Apostles/Authorized Church Structure, Temples/Family History/Genealogy, Worship/Testimony/Feeling Things Down Deep

Tagged Civil Discourse, Cleaning Up Mistakes, Commitment, Family Ties, Freedom To Choose, Global Faiths, Religious Liberty, Second Chances

Wandle Your Way Home?

Posted on March 30, 2014 by Dave | Leave a comment

In my last post, we explored three ways in which Mormons are peculiar. For me, these significant three are like finding a treasure after a life-long search. They’re why my ancestors decided to be Mormons, why anyone has decided to be a Mormon, and certainly why I’m a Mormon. To illustrate, I’ll share the story of Wandle Mace, my great-great grandfather.

Wandle Mace, Younger

Wandle (pronounced not like magic “wand” but like “band”, rhyming with “candle” or “handle”) grew up in the early 1800s and was taught to read by reading the scriptures. In his journal, he records that he had memorized the New Testament by the time he was twelve years old. While in his day that was unusual, I know of others of that period who achieved the same goal, so it appears it was more common then than now, and with no TV, more achievable. For example, we know high schoolers today in the Amish/Mennonite communities of Oklahoma and Arkansas who memorize the New Testament before they graduate. Because of his education at his mother’s knee, Wandle knew that the many churches he attended around him did not teach the same things he knew for himself were in the Bible, and for years he searched for a church that taught those same things. He was expelled from some of them for teaching things from the New Testament that conflicted with their teachings, but he held to the things he knew to be true.

Parley P. Pratt

Eventually, Parley P. Pratt knocked on Wandle’s door, talking about a church that matched in every respect the teachings Wandle had learned as a boy, the three same teachings that Elder Holland described. Wandle explained to Parley that while he was glad finally to find someone who taught the truths found in the New Testament, that fact alone did not give Parley the authority that Jesus Christ held allowing him to teach these truths. Wandle said that, before they were to continue on discussion, he would need to know that they possessed this authority from God.

Three months later, when Wandle’s baby Charles took sick, Wandle and his wife called in the elders to bless and heal Charles. Parley returned, Charles was healed, and Wandle and his family decided in their hearts that this church indeed included the power and authority originally established by Jesus Christ. It was insufficient to teach the proper things; Wandle knew that they had to be taught with proper authority in order to be from God. And Wandle recognized that the holy priesthood, which had been restored to the earth by those who held it anciently, signaled the return of divine authorization, for which he had been watching and waiting for many years.

Wandle was not alone. People before him and after had similar experiences regarding authority. If you wish, feel free to view the experiences of Vincenzo di Francesca, which are similar to Wandle’s, in the movie How Rare a Possession—The Book of Mormon. (Length: 63:19.)

I will always be grateful for great people in my life who are willing to teach things they feel down deep, even when it’s difficult, even when people around them disagree with them. Like them, I feel that it is important to stand strong for correct principles, even against tremendous odds, and I am glad to see my adult children all standing tall for what they have learned for themselves to be true. Wandle would be pleased.

Wandle Mace, Older

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Posted in Diligence/Discipleship, Education/Knowledge, Faith, Priesthood/Authority from God, Scriptures/Scripture Study, Temples/Family History/Genealogy, Worship/Testimony/Feeling Things Down Deep

Tagged Blessing The Sick, Come; Follow Me, Family Ties, Influence/Always Teaching, New Testament, Peculiar People, Self-imposed Goals, Strength And Virtue, Whirlwinds

Let The Storm Rage On — Committing To Fight The Good Fight

Posted on February 18, 2014 by Dave | Leave a comment

Quick: What do you think of when you hear this word? “Ordinances.”

Okay, that may be a bit strange. Try this one: “Covenants.”

What went through your mind? Good? Bad? Ugly? Modest? Fight? Commitment?

Sometimes (often?) I feel a need to fight against expectations. At times those expectations are of good behaviors, at other times of bad. In the movie “Frozen”, the character Elsa seemed to feel much the same way:

Not everyone appreciates her the way I do, but I love the way Idina Menzel sings. To me, the good in this song is inspiring. But not the bad. In the song, good and bad are juxtaposed, in opposition to each other, just as they are in life. And as in life, I thank Heaven for the bad. By Celestial design, the bad helps me to recognize, appreciate, and embrace the good. Some of the lyrics:

I don’t care what they’re going to say.
Let the storm rage on.
Cold never bothered me anyway. (All good.)
⁞
…the fears that once controlled me, can’t get to me at all. (good)
It’s time to see what I can do, to test the limits and break through. (good)
No right, no wrong, no rules for me. (bad) I’m free. (good)
⁞
Let it go, let it go. (good) That perfect girl is gone. (bad)

Good, bad. Bad, good. What the heck does it matter? Well, according to the prophet Isaiah, it matters a lot:

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness…

“The emphasis on truth as the way things really are suggests that it contrasts with the way things seem to be, no matter how convincing that deception may be. One such truth is the reality of evil. As Isaiah pointed out, at the heart of moral relativism is an inability or unwillingness to recognize evil.”
—Daniel L. Belnap

Dave, what does this good-evil stuff have to do with ordinances? I thought you’d never ask. Ordinances in any faith community help us to shun evil, to choose the right, to commit to be good. It draws a line in the snow. It draws a line in the sand, in the dirt, on the concrete. A bar/bat mitzvah means “son/daughter who is subject to the commandment, to the law of God”. The first pillar of Islam is kalima shahadah, meaning to promise/testify/witness my word to God. Christian baptism is a covenant with God to repent, to be clean before Him, to accept Christ’s invitation when he said, “Come, follow me.” Ordinances and covenants are a two-way promise: We promise to follow God; he promises us certain blessings.

One thing I really, really love about being a Mormon is that my faith is full of ordinances. At eight years old, I was baptized. At twelve, I was ordained to the priesthood. At twenty-four, my wife and I were sealed for time and all eternity. Then our family gets to go to the temple together and do it all for others. Over and over. Each time, each ordinance, is a line in the snow/sand/whatever. Each is an additional level of commitment and reverence to God. Throughout life, we all make decisions. Ordinances help. They help us choose the right. They help us witness to God and to others that we will choose good over evil.

So, do what Elsa did. Do what you think is right. Be brave, and do it your way. Stay modest. Thumb your nose at a world that wants you to take your clothes off, and keep them on. Instead, yank off the gloves, and pull no punches. Stretch your powers as far as they can possibly go, and then stretch them a bit more. Say what is on your mind and in your heart.

FIGHT. Commit. Draw lines with ideas. Fight the good fight. Fight the good fight of faith.

I don’t care what they’re going to say.
Let the storm rage on — Good never bothered me anyway.

Elsa Ready To Fight, Gloves Off

——– End of Post ——–

Bonus Material:

1. Just like Elsa has powers she must learn about and learn to control, so do we. Listen or read Elder Ronald A. Rasband’s address regarding ways to tutor ourselves in having our hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another, entitled, “Building Spiritual Power in Priesthood Quorums”. (Length of audio: 16:18.)

2. Listen or read how God’s covenant with Abraham blesses us all. (Length of audio: 12:36.)

3. Read more about moral absolutes contrasted with moral relativism in an address by Dallin H. Oaks, “Religious Values and Public Policy“, Ensign, Oct 1992.

——– End of Bonus Material ——–

WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Illustration, “Else Ready To Fight, Gloves Off,” www. moviefanatic.com/gallery/frozen-elsa-idina-menzel/

——– End of WebCredits ——–

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Posted in Baptism, Commandments/God's Laws, Cultural Arts/Music/Dance, Diligence/Discipleship, Education/Knowledge, Faith, Gender Roles, Godhead: Heavenly Father/Jesus Christ/The Holy Ghost, Hope, Meekness, Obedience/Submissiveness/ Hearken/Observe, Ordinances/Covenants, Priesthood/Authority from God, Repentance, Temples/Family History/Genealogy

Tagged Acceptance, Be Yourself, Being Brave, Breaking Barriers, Come; Follow Me, Discarding Doubt, Family Ties, Fight For What's Right, God's Way—Not Mine, Help In Our Desperate Hour, Overcoming Trials, Peculiar People, Right vs. Wrong, Seeing People Deeper, Self-imposed Goals, Serving Others, Trusting Oneself, Whirlwinds

The World, Bathed In Light

Posted on February 6, 2014 by Dave | 1 comment

This is a photo-essay, a collection of images with a theme. A long post, but with reason. Just a gallery of pictures and paintings. Images of light. People and places around the globe, many of them in a religious light. All of them to me are spiritual. Source credits included. There are 64, and we hope you enjoy them. Click on an image to make it bigger!

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Monks releasing flying lanterns during Loy Krathong
in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

[Credit: http://canvas-of-light.smugmug.com/Portfolio/i-TPDTLsq/A]
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A monk lighting up candles in a pond during Visakha Bucha night
in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

[Credit: http://canvas-of-light.smugmug.com/Portfolio/i-5hjBsMs/A]
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A monk slowly lighting up candles during Asalaha Bucha
in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

[Credit: http://canvas-of-light.smugmug.com/Portfolio/i-Sx7rh9D/A]
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Grand Palace upper terrace and statures of mythical creatures
in Bangkok, Thailand.

[Credit: From private collection.]
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Wat Rong Khun, the White Temple, in Chiang Rai, Thailand.

[Credit: http://canvas-of-light.smugmug.com/Portfolio/i-QhqjSb3/A]
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Home interior, Cairo.

[Credit: From private collection.]
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A sunset captured from the dock of a ferry
from Corfu, Greece to the mainland of Greece.

[Credit: http://canvas-of-light.smugmug.com/Portfolio/i-V2Fxkb7/A]
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Cityscape panorama in Brindisi, Italy.

[Credit: http://canvas-of-light.smugmug.com/Portfolio/i-rzC2grd/A]
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A town of the Cinque Terre Bay of Liguria, Italy.

[Credit: http://www.understandingitaly.com/liguria-content/cinqueterre.html]
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Another town of the Cinque Terre Bay of Liguria, Italy.

[Credit: http://www.touristmaker.com/]
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Basilica dei Fieschi in San Salvatore di Cogorno, Italy.

[Credit: http://www.laterrazzasuifieschi.com/cosa-fare-cosa-vedere/la-basilica-dei-fieschi/]
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Family At Home in Accra, Ghana.

[Credit: http://www.lds.org/media-library/images/family-portraits?lang=eng&start=1&end=10]
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“Spruce Forest” («Еловый лес» or “Yeloviy Lyes”) (1892),
Ivan Shishkin, Tretyakov Gallery, Moscow.

[Credit: From print in Shishkin book in private collection.]
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“Valiant Warriors of Old” («Богатыри» or “Bogatyri”) (1898),
Viktor Vasnetsov, Tretyakov Gallery, Moscow.

[Credit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Die_drei_Bogatyr.jpg]
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Worshippers in the mosque in Muslim quarter of Xi’an, China.

[Credit: From private collection.]
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Terracotta and flesh warriors in Xi’an, China.

[Credit: From private collection.]
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Mirrored walk, Parque Lezama in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

[Credit: From private collection.]
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Behind a wall in Buenos Aires, a sublime house stood;
I knocked and asked to enter.

[Credit: From private collection.]
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Turned out to be a house of God;
kind sisters gave me a tour of their chapel.

[Credit: From private collection.]
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“Returning (Back to the Ranch)” (circa 1900), Ángel Della Valle
(“De regreso (vuelta al rancho)”).

[Credit: http://www.arcadja.com/auctions/en/della_valle_angel/artist/403933/]
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Quintessential trees of unofficial sub-barrio Belgrano R,
in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

[Credit: http://www.latidobuenosaires.com/fotosbelgranorbarriobuenosairesargentina.html]
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Trees of Calle Melián, Belgrano R, in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

[Credit: http://www.latidobuenosaires.com/fotosbelgranorbarriobuenosairesargentina.html]
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Avenida Santa Fe, Plaza Gral. San Martín, Barrio Retiro,
in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

[Credit: http://riowang.blogspot.com/2009_10_01_archive.html]
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Alpenglow of Mount Washington in New Hampshire, USA.

[Credit: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/07/portrait-or-landscape/]
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Mount Avalon in New Hampshire, USA.

[Credit: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/07/portrait-or-landscape/]
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Female photographer waiting for sunrise
on Mt. Washington, New Hampshire, USA.

[Credit: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/07/portrait-or-landscape/]
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Layers of color on Mt Washington, New Hampshire, USA.

[Credit: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/07/portrait-or-landscape/]
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Crescent Lake at night in Dhaka, Bangladesh.

[Credit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dhaka]
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Festival of Japan, bamboo light.

[Credit: http://www.123rf.com/photo_12401506_festival-of-japan-bamboo-light.html]
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Golden field in Italy.

[Credit: http://canvas-of-light.smugmug.com/Portfolio/i-VMJ8DSf/A]
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Morning light during fall in Kentucky, USA.

[Credit: http://canvas-of-light.smugmug.com/Portfolio/i-nQzfF3N/A]
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Grotto in Cancun, México.

[Credit: http://www.lds.org/media-library/images/international?lang=eng&start=21&end=30]
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Climbing the Great Wall at Mutianyu, China.

[Credit: From private collection.]
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Tuyoq village in Turpan, Xinjiang, China.

[Credit: http://www.drokpa.com/PotD.php?image=/PotD/Turpan,-China—Tuyoq-Village-81.jpg]
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Canal along Pingjiang Road in Suzhou, China.

[Credit: at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Near-Pingjiang-Road.JPG
or info at:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suzhou]
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The Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi, UAE (United Arab Emirates) is seen as a construction to ‘unite the world’, using artisans and materials from countries such as Italy, Germany, Moracco, India, Turkey, Iran, China, Greece, and the UAE.

[Credit: http://www.canvas-of-light.com/2011/03/photo-essay-sheikh-zayed-mosque-uae/]
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In the ablution room of the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi, UAE (United Arab Emirates), worshippers clean themselves in order to be in a state of purity before praying. It is decorated with marble tiles and a large fountain in the middle of the room.

[Credit: http://www.canvas-of-light.com/2011/03/photo-essay-sheikh-zayed-mosque-uae/]
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The main prayer hall in the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi, UAE (United Arab Emirates), features the world’s second largest chandelier (the largest one being in Doha, Qatar) hanging directly below the largest dome. It is ten meters in diameter, fifteen meters in height, and weighs nine tons.

[Credit: http://www.canvas-of-light.com/2011/03/photo-essay-sheikh-zayed-mosque-uae/]
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Natural materials were chosen for the design and construction of the Mosque due to their long-lasting qualities, including marble, stone, gold, semi-precious stones, crystals and ceramics. Again, in the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi, UAE (United Arab Emirates).

[Credit: http://www.canvas-of-light.com/2011/03/photo-essay-sheikh-zayed-mosque-uae/]
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“Paris Street; Rainy Day” (1877), Gustave Caillebotte.

[Credit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Gustave_Caillebotte_-_Paris_Street;_Rainy_Day_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg]
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Interior window in Sainte-Chapelle, Paris.

[Credit: From private collection.]
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Country chic staircase, The Queen’s Hamlet at Versailles, France.

[Credit: From private collection.]
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Water mill, The Queen’s Hamlet at Versailles, France.

[Credit: http://fineartamerica.com/featured/the-queens-hamlet-versailles-gary-tinnes.html]
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Winter at Caravan Sarayi, 15th Century roadside inn
on ancient Silk Road, near Tash Rabat, Kyrgyzstan.

[Credit: http://www.lonelyplanet.com/kyrgyzstan/images/tash-rabat-caravanserai-kyrgyzstan$1758-11]
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Dome interior of Caravan Sarayi near Tash Rabat, Kyrgyzstan.

[Credit: http://www.traveladventures.org/continents/asia/tash-rabat.html]
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Interior hallway of dome of Caravan Sarayi
near Tash Rabat, Kyrgyzstan.

[Credit: http://www.traveladventures.org/continents/asia/tash-rabat.html]
· —- oOo —- ·

Caravan Sarayi dwarfed by surrounding mountains
near Tash Rabat, Kyrgyzstan.

[Credit: http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/photography/photo-of-the-day/silk-road-kyrgysztan/
(link no longer valid)]
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Top of the World in Lofoten Islands, Norway.

[Credit: http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/photography/photo-of-the-day/
(link may be invalid)]
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Women from Nigeria.

[Credit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Nigerian_women.jpg]
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Jerusalem panorama at sunset.

[Credit: http://www.actforisrael.org/blog/blog/?attachment_id=4738]
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Arches above Eastern Gate (Golden Gate) in Jerusalem.

[Credit: From private collection.]
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The misty mountains of Yangshuo and Guilin
in the Li Jiang river region of China.

[Credit: From private collection.]
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Riverside hamlet on Li Jiang Near Yangshuo, China.

[Credit: From private collection.]
· —- oOo —- ·

San Diego Temple
of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
(Mormon temple or LDS temple in San Diego, California, USA).
[Credit: http://www.ldschurchtemples.com/sandiego/gallery/download.php?id=780]
· —- oOo —- ·

Newlyweds with bright eyes and glowing faces outside a Mormon temple.

[Credit: From private collection.]
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Plaza de Armas at night in Cuzco, Perú.

[Credit: http://wikitravel.org/en/Cuzco]
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Roof mosaic in the Tomb of Hafez, Shiraz, Iran.

[Credit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomb_of_Hafez]
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Tehran at night from Jamshidieh Park.

[Credit: http://farrokhi.net/]
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Sunset over Granada, Spain.

[Credit: http://canvas-of-light.smugmug.com/Portfolio/i-bLsqCbP/A]
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The Alhambra palace during sunset,
shot from the mirador de San Nicolas in Granada, Spain.

[Credit: http://canvas-of-light.smugmug.com/Portfolio/i-dppVjdR/A]
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The Plaza Isabel la Católica with a statue of
the Queen Isabel and Christopher Columbus in Granada, Spain.

[Credit: http://canvas-of-light.smugmug.com/Portfolio/i-9g5W2DG/A]
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The Sun Voyager (Sólfar in Icelandic) is a sculpture by
Jón Gunnar Árnason (1931-1989), an Icelandic artist born in Reykjavik.

[Credit: http://canvas-of-light.smugmug.com/Portfolio/i-VTJdqfv/A]
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Two nuns walking down a small street in the historic district of Cuzco, Perú.

[Credit: http://kathyadamsclark.blogspot.com/2012/12/peru-photo-tour-recap-cusco.html]
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Zenkoji Temple, Nagano, Japan.
Zenkoji is a place for prayer, light, and enlightenment.
Although it is a Buddhist temple, all are welcome,
regardless of gender, creed or religious belief.

[Credit: http://smba2010.blogspot.com/2010/05/saturday-may-22-2010.html]

· ————- oOo ————- ·

Hope you enjoyed this view through our lens
and the lens of many talented folks.
A brief and wonderful view of the world.
And what a wonderful worldview!

1 Comment

Posted in Cultural Arts/Music/Dance, Education/Knowledge, Global Church, Hope, Humility, Meekness, Peace, Temples/Family History/Genealogy, Virtue/Chastity

Tagged Acceptance, Be Yourself, Breaking Barriers, Brother's Keeper, Culture, Freedom To Choose, Global Faiths, Latin America, Religious Liberty, Seeing People Deeper, Serving Others, Spectrum Of Opinion, Strength And Virtue

My Grandson Got It Right

Posted on November 13, 2013 by Kim | Leave a comment

One of my most cherished possessions is a stick figure drawing of my husband and me drawn by my grandson. Dave has a forthright gaze, and a jaunty, striped hat sits on his head. My hair is optimistically drawn in pigtails, and my hair bows are colored to match Dave’s hat.

Many things about this precious picture appeal to me. For one thing, I’m portrayed as skinny, as stick figures always are, even though I am not! The delightful labels and arrows, helping to distinguish between drawings of my husband and me, are charming. And I love the confident lettering of the title words, separated by thick bars so anyone who sees the masterpiece will know exactly who the subject of the drawing is. But the best parts are the slightly lop-sided smiles on each of our faces. Dave and I may be quirky-looking, but we’re happy.

The sweet little boy who drew this picture saw that Dave and I were happy. I suppose he thinks we always are—probably because we ARE always happy when we can see him and his family. But even though we have now been married more than 30 years (and we like to think we’ve worked out most of the kinks. . .), we have occasions of rancor. Not too long ago at the dinner table, Dave said something that made me put down my fork and burst into tears. Even more recently, I said something quite sharply to Dave, again at the table. Our kids have memories of loud voices (mostly mine) and one particularly shameful episode of a pillow being tossed out a car window (me again). I don’t want to paint Dave a saint and me a shrew—though he might not entirely disagree with that picture—we are just people living together, not always in harmony. Our children have certainly seen the truth in the old adage: “when two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.” Obviously, Dave and I are both necessary. And our home, while generally happy, was (is!) not always peaceful.

For a long time I worried that this atmosphere would adversely affect our children. Would they leave home as soon as they were able? Would they treat siblings and peers unkindly? Would they fear Dave and I are headed toward divorce? Would they hesitate to marry themselves?

While I can’t fully speak to all these questions, some observations from their lives have provided me reassurance. They left home for college or missions, but didn’t move out in a flurry of escapism. They have distinctly different personalities and preferences, but enjoy being together. They have their own homes or apartments, in most cases quite a distance from ours, but like coming home for a visit. They are particularly sympathetic to the less fortunate, but are wonderfully gentle to everyone. The oldest 4 are married—a sign to me that they found the prospect of matrimony pleasing. And I was much soothed by a comment made by my son Mike. He told me, “I always knew that you and Dad were devoted to each other.”

I think one important reason the kids felt secure, despite the occasional spat, was our commitment to our marriage. Dave and I were married in the Salt Lake City temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This December will be our 32^nd anniversary. Our marriage was performed by a man who held the power—priesthood power—to seal us together as husband and wife for all eternity. Simply put, Dave and I will be married to each other even after we die. Of course, like all covenants made with God and blessed by the priesthood, the promise of eternal marriage depends on our willingness to be faithful. But we ARE willing.

Much of what I know about marriage and its natural partner, the family, is found in a prophetic proclamation called “The Family: A proclamation to the World.” You can read it for yourself here. Knowing we are taking part in a plan devised by our loving Father in Heaven brings much to our marriage. We have delighted in the opportunity to have children. We recognize our responsibility to love each other. We know that following the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ will bless our lives and the lives of our children and our children’s children. We look forward to accounting for our efforts as husband and wife, as father and mother.

We are not getting it all right, so we’re grateful we can rely on the principles of repentance and forgiveness. But, as our much-loved grandson has noticed, we are happy.

P.S. I checked with Dave–we’re in agreement on this one!

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Posted in Family Relationships, Forgiveness, Gender Roles, Priesthood/Authority from God, Repentance, Temples/Family History/Genealogy

Keeping The Right Balls In The Air

Posted on October 8, 2013 by Dave | Leave a comment

What makes a strong family?
“How we preserve time for family is one of the most significant issues we face in most cultures.

“At a time when I was…in our law firm, one lawyer explained to me how she always felt like a juggler trying to keep three balls in the air at the same time. One ball was her law practice, one was her marriage, and one was her children. She’d almost given up on time for herself. She was greatly concerned that one of the balls was always on the ground. I suggested we meet as a group and discuss our priorities. We determined that the primary reason we were working was to support our families. We agreed that making more money wasn’t nearly as important as our families, but we recognized that serving our clients to the best of our abilities was essential. The discussion then moved to what we did at work that was not necessary and was inconsistent with having time for family. Was there pressure to spend time in the workplace that was not essential? We decided that our goal would be a family-friendly environment for both women and men. Let us be at the forefront in protecting time for family.” (“Lamentations of Jeremiah: Beware of Bondage,” Quentin L. Cook, LDS General Conference, Oct 2013.)

Strength Against The Storm

What makes a strong family? The importance of a strong family narrative is highlighted in the New York Times article on well-researched studies on vital long-term benefits of family history,
“The Stories That Bind Us“:

The more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem and the more successfully they believed their families functioned. The “Do You Know?” scale turned out to be the best single predictor of children’s emotional health and happiness.

“We were blown away,” Dr. Duke said.

And then something unexpected happened. Two months later was Sept. 11. As citizens, Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush were horrified like everyone else, but as psychologists, they knew they had been given a rare opportunity: though the families they studied had not been directly affected by the events, all the children had experienced the same national trauma at the same time. The researchers went back and reassessed the children.

“Once again,” Dr. Duke said, “the ones who knew more about their families proved to be more resilient, meaning they could moderate the effects of stress.”

Why does knowing where your grandmother went to school help a child overcome something as minor as a skinned knee or as major as a terrorist attack?

“The answers have to do with a child’s sense of being part of a larger family,” Dr. Duke said.
⁞
The bottom line: if you want a happier family, create, refine and retell the story of your family’s positive moments and your ability to bounce back from the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come.

Strong narrative, strong family, strong kids. In the world we live in, we are expected to keep more and more balls in the air, with fewer and fewer on the ground. Well do I ask myself: How will I manage it? How will my adult kids and grandkids?

Maybe it’s a matter of Good, Better, Best?

How do YOU preserve time for family, for self?

Strength To Manage Floods That Happen In Life

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WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Photo, keeping the balls juggling in the air—womenonthefence.com/2009/11/25/keeping-the-balls-juggling-in-the-air/
Address, “Lamentations of Jeremiah: Beware of Bondage,” Quentin L. Cook, LDS General Conference, Oct 2013—www .lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/lamentations-of-jeremiah-beware-of-bondage?lang=eng
Photo, Strength Against The Storm—ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2012/09/extreme-weather/miller-text
Article, “The Stories That Bind Us”, Bruce Feiler, New York Times, 15 Mar 2013—www .nytimes.com/2013/03/17/fashion/the-family-stories-that-bind-us-this-life.html
Address, “Good, Better, Best,” Dallin H. Oaks, LDS General Conference, Oct 2007—www .lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/good-better-best?lang=eng
Photo, Strength To Manage Floods That Happen In Life—www.cuindependent.com/2013/09/17/photos-cu-independents-coverage-of-the-boulder-flood/46514

——– End of WebCredits ——–