Category Archives: Work

What Matt Brown Teaches Us All About Commitment

Posted on May 19, 2015 by Dave | 1 comment

Faith, Discipline, Excellence: The Extraordinary Matt Brown

Matt Brown is a wrestler. And he’s a man of commitments. Penn State’s Mike Bacior explains. Let’s look closer:

Commitment is (a) a promise to do or give something, (b) a promise to be loyal to someone or something, and (c) an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.

Let’s take these in reverse order.

Restricts your freedom of action:
Once I commit to go to a certain medical school, I also limit my options. While in school, my schedule may not be my own. I can’t poke or prod people in fun anymore. I am no longer free to walk by an injured person on the street without taking action. “The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt, but in spite of doubt.”—Rollo May, The Courage to Create, Page 21.
.
A promise to be loyal:
Once I commit to think for myself, I also have to take responsibility for mistaken thoughts. But through making these mistakes, I learn to have my own voice, to be loyal to myself. The mistakes are not nearly as vital as having thoughts of my own. “It’s not so important that you have correct thoughts as that you have thoughts!”—Arthur Henry King (see also his reading list).
.
A promise to give:
Once I commit to give my hand in marriage, I also promise to do many things. And I promise not to do many things. Many of which have much to do with (1) and (2) above. “Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.”—Erich Fromm

Matt Brown is a man who commits. He loves winning. He loves wrestling. He loves his faith. He loves his wife.

I have learned to practice the three lessons above. I think for myself. Rather than embrace my fear of commitment, I commit and embrace the accompanying restrictions on my freedom of action.

One thing I love about my six adult children is that they have learned these same lessons. Wrestling helped. Or maybe they learned it from rugby, football, or lifeguarding. Maybe they do it because they saw that their mom and I commit. Regardless, they apply these same lessons every day. They are committed to their families, to their faith, to themselves, to becoming their best self. And like Matt, they have found that by giving of themselves, they find themselves. Each day, they put away their fear and choose to commit.

Some people try to get you to fear commitment. Many know the blessings of commitment. Matt Brown is one of many who know.

——– End of Post ——–

Bonus Materials:

Julie Beck describes women who know to commit and who lead others to commit. Read, watch or listen. Julie B. Beck, “Mothers Who Know”, Oct 2007 LDS General Conference.

Matt Brown on making choices to use time wisely.

Matt Brown, Committing Yet Again

——– End of Bonus Materials ——–

WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Header photo, “Faruk Şahin (US Army) Throws Mark Rial (Gator Wrestling Club) at USA Wrestling World Team Trials, 31 May 2009”—www. armymwr.com/news/archive/news.aspx?nid=116
Photo, “Faith, Discipline, Excellence: The Extraordinary Matt Brown”—onwardstate.com/2015/03/06/faith-discipline-excellence-the-extraordinary-matt-brown
Photo, commit-to-give-hands-up—owelpapel.wordpress.com
Photo, commit-man-diving-off-cliff— livebold.org/the-ultimate-life-experience
Photo, “Matt Brown, Committing Yet Again”— pennlive.com/sports/index.ssf/2015/03/ncaa_finals_breakdown_penn_sta.html
Photo, “Decide. Commit. Succeed.”— bringingbackawesome.com/commit-to-you/#sthash.VrGzM2PO.dpbs

——– End of WebCredits ——–

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Posted in Commandments/God's Laws, Diligence/Discipleship, Education/Knowledge, Faith, Family Relationships, Fun/Wholesome Recreation, Health/Exercise, Hope, Work

Tagged Being Brave, Commitment, Discarding Doubt, Family Ties, Freedom To Choose, Fun, Keeping Promises, Parenting, Self-imposed Goals, Self-worth, Sports, Standards Of Behavior, Strength And Virtue, Walking By Faith

Burning Lessons In The Brain: A Child’s Formative Years

Posted on February 8, 2015 by Dave | Leave a comment

The lessons learned in the home are those that last the longest.

I grew up on a farm in Missouri, and many of my early lessons were about work. Mowing the fields by tractor took half a day, but it reduced the chiggers when we ran to the pond to swim each afternoon. We spent three hours each morning weeding the gardens; somehow, despite hating it, we learned that the painstaking care itself seemed to make the vegetables taste better. We’d sit in the yard for hours to shell peas, snap beans, or strip corn of the cob, and Mom would have us singing the whole time to pass the time faster. It was in the home that I learned the sweet rewards of self-imposed hard labor.

Dr. Glenn J. Doman wrote on the importance of creativity and breadth in early childhood experiences:

“The newborn child is almost an exact duplicate of an empty … computer, although superior to such a computer in almost every way. … What is placed in the child’s [mind] during the first eight years of life is probably there to stay. … If you put misinformation into his [mind] during [this period], it is extremely difficult to erase it.” Dr. Doman added that the most receptive age in human life is that of two or three years. [How to Teach Your Baby to Read, Dr. Glenn J. Doman, (1963), Pages 43-45.]

In an article entitled “A Day at the Beach”, Arthur Gordon tells how one of his early lessons was the importance of family time:

When I was around thirteen and my brother ten, Father had promised to take us to the circus. But at lunchtime there was a phone call; some urgent business required his attention downtown. We braced ourselves for disappointment. Then we heard him say, “No, I won’t be down. It’ll have to wait.”

When he came back to the table, Mother smiled [and said,] “The circus keeps coming back, you know.”

“I know,” said Father. “But childhood doesn’t.” [A Touch of Wonder (1974), Pages 77-78.]

The blessings of starting early at home are real. Close families don’t emerge overnight. It takes work, and it’s all worth it—They grow up, take responsibility, and start families of their own. And by so doing, they learn some of the sweetest lessons life has to offer, such as, a child’s future is worth every sacrifice:

The hearth at home is the heart of learning. I’ve learned for myself that lasting lessons are learned at home.

——– End of Post ——–

Life In The Woods At Henry David Thoreau’s Walden Pond

Bonus Materials:

1. Gordon B. Hinckley stated

The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place nor fulfill its essential functions.

2. Read, watch or listen to Thomas S. Monson, “Constant Truths for Changing Times”, Apr 2005 LDS General Conference.

3. Read, watch or listen to Robert D. Hales, “Strengthening Families: Our Sacred Duty”, Apr 1999 LDS General Conference.

——– End of Bonus Materials ——–

WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Photo, kid on tractor—www. expeditionoklahoma.com/2011/04/
Photo, swimming after the work is done—www. expeditionoklahoma.com/2011/04/
Photo, “Life In The Woods At Henry David Thoreau’s Walden Pond”—From personal collection
Photo, “Make Way For Ducklings! And Kids!”—From personal collection

——– End of WebCredits ——–

Make Way For Ducklings! And Kids!

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Posted in Commandments/God's Laws, Cultural Arts/Music/Dance, Education/Knowledge, Family Relationships, Fun/Wholesome Recreation, Patience, Peace, Serving Others, Work, Worship/Testimony/Feeling Things Down Deep

Tagged Burning Lessons, Children, Culture, Family Ties, Fun, Influence/Always Teaching, Living Water, Parenting, Practicing What You Preach, Progression, Self-imposed Goals, Teenagers, Young Adults

In What Ways Do Mormons Serve Others In The Community? Our Family’s Answer.

Posted on September 21, 2014 by MormonPanorama | Leave a comment

What Can You Do For Your Community?

Reader Question:
Last weekend, a friend asked, “In what ways do Mormons serve others in our community?”

Family Answer:
Good question. In our family, and as Mormons, we believe strongly that sincere, honest questions are always a good thing. To gather other answers to this question, we talked to our adult kids, and here are the answers we gathered:

1. Joseph Smith taught us that we are “to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to provide for the widow, to dry up the tear of the orphan, to comfort the afflicted, whether in this church, or in any other, or in no church at all.” (Times and Seasons, 15 Mar 1842, Page 732.)

2. Here’s an example of how we strive to help others In the Church of Jesus Christ. A handful of women touched the life of a youth named Lynne when her stepfather died. Because she saw these sisters help at a critical time when she was a teenager, Lynne was determined to take her turn to serve when she grew older. As an adult, she shared this story.

“A young mother in my congregation, one of my friends, suddenly lost her only child, a beautiful three-year-old daughter, to an infection that took her life before the doctors were even aware of how serious her illness was. The other counselor and I went to the house as soon as we heard of little Robin’s death. As we approached the screened patio door, we heard the father (who was not a member of our Church) sobbing as he talked long distance to his mother. Looking up, he saw us and, still sobbing, spoke into the phone: ‘It will be all right, Mother. The Mormon women are here.’ My turn once more.” (Daughters in My Kingdom, Chapter 10, “Live Up to Your Privilege”, Page 178.)

3. In our family, we like to serve at the local community kitchen, at an interfaith shelter during the winter, at a senior center, or at a local food warehouse. We want to get out of our comfort zone to rub shoulders with people in our community in a number of ways. I think it’s particularly important to do this with people who aren’t like me. It’s important to us not only to write a check but also to donate our labor free of charge and to make new friends by sharing our time and our conversations.

We hope this answers your question and helps you to understand us better, to understand better how your Mormon neighbors serve in your community, and how you may help them out by serving together.

And let us know how we may help you further! If you find that you have any questions about religious issues that you’ve been wondering about or that you haven’t been able to get good answers to, feel free to continue on discussion with us. It turns out that there are a lot of people with questions, and most of them have given up on churches as a source of answers. In our family, it is our experience that answers are out there, that God wants us to have them, and that they tend to be answers we like and have learned to appreciate. Working together with Heavenly Father allows anyone to find certainty in uncertain times.

-Dave and the MormonPanorama Family

How Can You Have Fun Doing It?

——– End of Post ——–

Bonus Materials:

1. Get Involved In Your Community Service
http://www.mormon.org/values/community-service

2. What Can We All Do?
https://www.lds.org/topics/humanitarian-service/help?lang=eng

3. Mormon in America: A guided tour of an LDS Bishop’s storehouse
http://www.nbcnews.com/video/rock-center/48745343#48745343

There are bishop’s storehouses in many locations around the world.

——– End of Bonus Materials ——–

WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Photo, “What Can You Do For Your Community?”, from “Helping Hands Day Is A Community To Community”, The Davis Enterprise (Davis, California), dated 21 Sep 2014—www. davisenterprise.com/local-news/helping-hands-day-is-a-commitment-to-community/
Photo, “How Can You Have Fun Doing It?”, from “Helping Hands Day Is A Community To Community”, The Davis Enterprise (Davis, California), dated 21 Sep 2014—www. davisenterprise.com/local-news/helping-hands-day-is-a-commitment-to-community/

——– End of WebCredits ——–

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Posted in Ask Us A Question: Our Family’s Answer, Callings/Church Assignments, Charity/The Pure Love of Christ, Fun/Wholesome Recreation, Gender Roles, Global Church, Health/Exercise, Hope, Serving Others, Work

Tagged Blessing The Sick, Breaking Barriers, Brother's Keeper, Children, Civil Discourse, Come; Follow Me, Commitment, Culture, Freedom To Choose, Fun, God's Way—Not Mine, Help In Our Desperate Hour, Influence/Always Teaching, Out-of-the-box Thinking, Overcoming Trials, Peculiar People, Practicing What You Preach, Progression, Questioning Mind, Religious Liberty, Seeing People Deeper, Self-imposed Goals, Serving Others, Stand In Holy Places, Teamwork, Teenagers, Whirlwinds, Young Adults

Modern 20-somethings: Explorers Or Procrastinators?

Posted on July 18, 2014 by Dave | 3 comments

Over the years, our societal culture has embraced delayed adult development. To me, it indicates a certain lack of faith. Could it be that many parents fail to teach their kids to step out in faith?

Debating

Our daughter Whitney has always been wiser than her years and taught us repeatedly about stepping out in faith. She excelled at debate and won many awards in high school. She was going to be a senator, and she would have excelled at that, too. Then suddenly, she stopped. I was stunned. She explained, “Dad, it makes me hard.” Seeing that that was an unwise development, she no longer felt good about it, and she decided to employ her time elsewhere. She had talked with her Maker about it and chose to step out in faith in a new direction.

Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. Clinical psychologist Meg Jay teaches us about what she calls the benign neglect of adult development: “So what do you think happens when you pat a twenty-something on the head and you say, ‘You have ten extra years to start your life’? Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.” She continues:

So when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain. It’s a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become. But what we hear less about is that there’s such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development. But this isn’t what twenty-somethings are hearing. Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood. Researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence. Journalists coin silly nicknames for twenty-somethings like “twixters” and “kidults.” It’s true. As a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.

It’s a bold message. Here’s why she’s bold:

And then every day, smart, interesting twenty-somethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: “I know my boyfriend’s no good for me, but this relationship doesn’t count. I’m just killing time.” Or they say, “Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I’m 30, I’ll be fine.”

But then it starts to sound like this: “My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself. I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college.”

And then it starts to sound like this: “Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30, it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. I didn’t want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.”

Where are the twenty-somethings here? Do not do that.

I’m glad our kids decided to skip the kidult decade. Instead, they decided to pass GO, collect $200, and become adults. They stepped out in faith in choosing a career. In choosing to date as well as to hang out. In choosing a spouse. In choosing to start having kids. In choosing to stop having kids. In choosing to stay married even when times get tough. Our kids are ready for all of these decisions. They were ready for these decisions before they turned 20.

Familia en la Ciudad de México, Distrito Federal, los Estados Unidos Mexicanos

Family in Mexico City (México, D.F. or Federal District), Mexico

——– End of Post ——–

Bonus Material:

1. See Meg Jay’s presentation here on video, or interactive transcript in a variety of languages. In it, she states revealingly:

Too many thirty-somethings and forty-somethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, “What was I doing? What was I thinking?”

2. A recent line of ads is from AT&T, “Embrace Your Fear Of Commitment”. Note that AT&T ironically labeled the video: “I Heart Freedom”. This is not freedom; this is selfishness. This is choosing to share your life in a friendly adolescent way and adamantly refusing to share your life in a family adult way. Delayed adult development oozes from the text of the ad:

“Marriage is a No-go,” states Joshua in the 30-second version of the ad, which is no longer available, since AT&T decided that they no longer wanted to be married to the shorter version of the ad.

The Woodstock woman says, “It’s not that I have a fear of commitment. It’s more like, uh, interest in exploring all of my options. I have a commitment to that. I have a commitment to exploration.”

Sounds good, but here is Meg Jay on the above ideas: “I’m not discounting twenty-something exploration here, but I am discounting exploration that’s not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration. That’s procrastination.”

3. A related video, at least in my mind, is from Sir Ken Robinson in his presentation, “How Schools Kill Creativity“, or see interactive transcript. It reminds me of a saying in our family that you can’t let schooling get in the way of your education. Some of the most important things we must learn in life we will learn outside of formal education.

——– End of Bonus Material ——–

WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Photo, “Debating”—digitaldebating.idebate.org
Photo, “Family in Mexico City (México, D.F. or Federal District), Mexico”—Ensign Magazine, May 2014, Page 96
Photo, “Couple in Love”—Personal collection

——– End of WebCredits ——–

Couple in Love

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Posted in Education/Knowledge, Faith, Family Relationships, Fun/Wholesome Recreation, Gender Roles, Humility, Meekness, Patience, Peace, Personal Challenges, Prayer, Work

Tagged Acceptance, Being Brave, Breaking Barriers, Children, Commitment, Culture, Discarding Doubt, Family Ties, Fight For What's Right, Freedom To Choose, Fun, God's Way—Not Mine, Influence/Always Teaching, Out-of-the-box Thinking, Parenting, Peculiar People, Progression, Questioning Mind, Sacrifice, Seeing People Deeper, Self-imposed Goals, Self-worth, Serving Others, Spectrum Of Opinion, Standards Of Behavior, Strength And Virtue, Teenagers, Trusting Oneself, Trusting Others, Walking By Faith, Young Adults

Beyond Dirt, Beyond Opposition, Beyond Bullying

Posted on June 28, 2014 by Dave | Leave a comment

Migrant Mother, Nipomo, California, 1936 by Dorothea Lange

Bullying begins early, especially when faith is involved. My friend who shoved my face in the dirt was one of many. In elementary school and junior high, when kids learned I’m Mormon, they would often ask how many moms I had. I remember wondering how much they really knew about the birth process.

I have Muslim friends, Catholic friends, Jewish friends, friends of many faiths, all with experience getting their faces shoved in the dust. Gritty, tough, beautiful faces.

Dirt and faith go together. Opposition, criticism, and antagonism are companions to truth. Whenever the truth is revealed with regard to the purpose and destiny of mankind, there will always be a force to oppose it.

Faces Of Kevin At 3 Years Old

When our son Kevin was three or four years old, an older sibling had a soccer match after a week of rain. At the side of the field was a narrow 25-foot-long puddle. Kev quickly learned that if he ran and threw his body on the ground in just the right way, he could slide the entire length of the water. Before long, the families around us began to watch Kevin instead of the game. One photographer mom missed her son’s only goal of the season as she focused her lens on Kev. “Gotta set priorities. Look at that face!” she said, kept snapping shots, and gave us copies of her images later that week.

Dirt and Faith on the Mexican Baja

Years later, Kevin’s face was again caked with dirt, this time from the dry dust of Tijuana, made a bit muddy by the ample sweat of his brow. He loved working closely with friends from Mexico as they labored to teach the truth. At one point, weeks of opposition and criticism were taking a heavy toll. His close friends were truly discouraged, and it weighed heavily on his heart. Kev decided to rip his bedsheet in two and scribbled on his Title of Liberty, “In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children”, and fastened it upon the end of a pole. He called his flock of fellow laborers together to encourage them and, in his strong voice, shouted in Spanish, “Whosoever will maintain this title upon the land, let them come forth in the strength of the Lord, and promise with me that they will maintain their rights, and their religion, that the Lord God may bless them.” After signing the rent cloth, Kevin invited them to sign. They all did. And their courage was restored. People started really talking with these young men once again, sharing feelings down deep and listening to them, as the weeks of opposition and antagonism evaporated, leaving only the local dust on their tired, smiling faces.

Look for the biggest dust cloud billowing above the most dirt, and you’ll find that it’s being kicked at someone standing for the truth. Sometimes, no one stands with them.

“The Standard of Truth has been erected; no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing, persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny many defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited very clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done.”—Joseph Smith

Bullies will always assemble themselves. Why? Because someone is teaching the truth, and the truth will always be opposed. Time to labor harder, time to work smarter, time to smile that feel-it-deep-down smile…

Two men looked up from prison bars,
One saw the mud, the other saw stars.
—Dale Carnegie, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Defying Opposition

——– End of Post ——–

Bonus Material:

Many of these thoughts are inspired by Lawrence Corbridge. Read, watch or listen to his entire address, “The Prophet Joseph Smith”, Apr 2014 LDS General Conference.

“A Father’s Gift”, Liz Lemon Swindle

——– End of Bonus Material ——–

WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Photo, “Migrant Mother, Nipomo, California, 1936 by Dorothea Lange”—www2. artsmia.org/blogs/new-pictures/category/mia-photo-exhibitions/
Photo, “Dirt and Faith on the Mexican Baja”, from private collection
Quote, “The Standard of Truth,” Joseph Smith, Jr., History of the Church, Volume 4, Page 540, from the Wentworth Letter, just before the Articles of Faith
Quote by Dale Carnegie, www. goodreads.com/quotes/420532-two-men-looked-out-from-prison-bars-one-saw-the
Photo, “Defying Opposition”, from private collection
Painting, “A Father’s Gift”, by Liz Lemon Swindle. Swindle tells us that this tender painting portrays the love of three fathers. Our heavenly Father entrusted the twins to John and Julia Murdock. When Julia died after childbirth, Brother Murdock entrusted them to Joseph, who brought them to Emma. Emma had just lost her own twin babies within hours of their birth. Joseph and Emma loved and raised the twins as if they were their own. See www. ldsart.com/p-10603-fathers-gift.aspx. Dave adds: To me this painting is about how a loving God follows opposition and trials by restoring smiles.
Painting, “Hope”, by Liz Lemon Swindle. See www. world-wide-art.com/art/Liz_Lemon_Swindle.html. Peter and John were no strangers to criticism and antagonism, which had cost them dearly. Swindle teaches us about illustrating a tender moment just before their faces learn to smile again:

When Mary came to the tomb, she found the stone rolled away and the tomb empty. She ran to the disciples crying, “They have taken away the Lord…and we know not where they have laid him” (John 20:2). Peter and John immediately ran to the tomb.

What did they think as they ran? Were they simply curious to see for themselves? Did they fear, like Mary, that their enemies had stolen the body? Or did they remember His promise, “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up”?

The decision that faced Peter and John that Sunday morning is the same decision that faces each one of us today. Will we doubt? Will we hope? Or will we know that He lives? I know that He lives.

Photo, “Smiles After Opposition”, from private collection

——– End of WebCredits ——–

“Hope”, Liz Lemon Swingle

···oO0···

Smiles After Opposition

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Posted in Atonement/Christ's Sacrifice, Charity/The Pure Love of Christ, Cultural Arts/Music/Dance, Diligence/Discipleship, Faith, Gender Roles, Hope, Patience, Peace, Personal Challenges, Priesthood/Authority from God, Serving Others, Work, Worship/Testimony/Feeling Things Down Deep

Tagged Acceptance, Be Yourself, Being Brave, Breaking Barriers, Civil Discourse, Come; Follow Me, Deep Discussions, Discarding Doubt, Fight For What's Right, Freedom To Choose, Global Faiths, God's Way—Not Mine, Help In Our Desperate Hour, Peculiar People, Religious Liberty, Rugby, Seeing People Deeper, Serving Others, Spectrum Of Opinion, Sports, Strength And Virtue, Trusting Oneself, Whirlwinds

Focus On Study vs. Focus On Others? Our Family’s Answer.

Posted on January 12, 2014 by MormonPanorama | Leave a comment

Reader Question:
My pastor made a point in his sermon last week of stating that church should be about one thing only, deepening a personal relationship with Jesus Christ of the Bible. Not even making friends or strengthening family or marriage relationships, just to learn about Jesus, that’s it, by studying the Bible, verse by verse. He said to do anything else puts the focus on us and our needs, not His. I think this is a real line in the sand. And instead of socializing with other believers outside of church, we should go into our room, shut the door, read the Bible and pray to Jesus, the one and only God. Not just the one and only God “for us”, the only one anywhere. What are your thoughts on this?

Family Answer:
Thanks for your question. Sincere, honest questions are always a good thing.

To gather an answer to your question, we talked to our adult kids. We also asked our local missionaries, because we knew they could help us. The answer from our local elders was the same as from our family: Part of a deeper personal relationship with Jesus Christ is trying to become like Him, to act like Him, to treat others as He did. Christ “went about doing good” and so should we. Christ served others all His life by being among them and commanded us to become like Him and follow His example: “Feed my lambs.” We believe that serving others as Christ would serve them deepens our understanding of Christ in real life application, not just in theory. By reading and studying the scriptures, you will find that Christ wants us to love and serve one another.

If you and I were to ask Christ directly, we think that He would say that the focus IS on us and our needs. What Paul calls “the heavenly gift” is the great Atonement worked on our behalf by the Savior. The ultimate aim of that gift is to bring us, the spirit sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father, back into His presence. To qualify for that, we must learn to be like the Savior; patient, obedient, kind, generous, and so forth. Studying Jesus’ life and works will help us understand what we must do, but practicing Christlike attributes in families, at church and elsewhere, will help us to become like Him. Thus, the most effective way to live the life of a Christian is not to shut ourselves away from others but to live and serve among our brothers and sisters here on earth.

We hope this answers your question and helps you understand us better and how to become more like Christ.

-Dave and the MormonPanorama Family

——– End of Post ——–
WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Photo, ocean-lighthouse—www. lds.org/media-library/images/oceans?lang=eng#diamondhead-view-760298
Address, “Ask the Missionaries! They Can Help You!”, Elder Russell M. Nelson, LDS General Conference, Oct 2012—www .lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/ask-the-missionaries-they-can-help-you?lang=eng
Photo, ocean-no-man-is-an-island—www. lds.org/media-library/images/oceans?lang=eng#chinaman-768217

——– End of WebCredits ——–

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Posted in Ask Us A Question: Our Family’s Answer, Atonement/Christ's Sacrifice, Charity/The Pure Love of Christ, Diligence/Discipleship, Education/Knowledge, Family Relationships, Godhead: Heavenly Father/Jesus Christ/The Holy Ghost, Scriptures/Scripture Study, Serving Others, Work, Worship/Testimony/Feeling Things Down Deep

Tagged Come; Follow Me, Deep Discussions, God's Way—Not Mine, Serving Others, Weightier Matters Of The Law

A bit of a Pep Talk

Posted on November 11, 2013 by Whit | Leave a comment

I can remember my Dad hollering up the stairs at one of us (there were 6, 2 boys, me, and 3 more boys–and I breed boys…shocker) he hollered, “Next time you want to yell at someone, look in the mirror and scream SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!” It’s funny now and it was funny then, which means I was not the intended recipient of said instructions. Today though, I think I might rather alter the method.

You know how some days the motivation to do whatever, whenever has been completely misplaced. Or it kicked you out of bed that morning and said, “You do it today, I’m staying here” and then giggled while you stumbled around dazed. Those/these are the days I’m thinking I might try and re-apply my Dad’s method–whit style.

I think I’ll try standing, in front of the mirror, on the balls of my feet with my dukes up. Right foot in front (or left, however you’d snowboard–goofy or regular) and shifting my weight back and forth (the Boxer Shuffle, give it a bit of a bounce). Hands up in front of my face (you use them to block). I can’t do this quietly, so, “Ha, ha, Ha, ha, Ha, ha” just letting out a little breath, not much sound…for now.

I’ll work it up for a minute or so, thinking about the locker room prep before the game. Then suddenly I’ll start yelling, “I CAN DO HARD THINGS! AND I CAN FIND JOY IN THE JOURNEY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (Now grimace at the mirror! Show you your BRING IT ON face! Make your reflection squeal like a girl!)

AAAAAHHHHH!!! I AM WIFE! I AM MOMMY! I AM WOMAN!! BRING IT ON WORLD! BRING IT! I’LL TAKE TO YOU THE CURB! COME ON! (now flex with all your might during this last yell) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

A few practice shots: jab, jab, cross—jab, jab, cross—jab, cross, hook, upper, jab, cross, hook, upper…. BRING IT! HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT! (a little electric slide…Fire Away!) Ha, ha, Ha, ha, Ha, ha…(it’s the cool down) ha, ha, ha, ha

Then I’ll relax my dukes, say “Let’s do this thing,” turn out the bathroom light, and start my day.

Thanks Dad, I feel better already.

P.S. My Dear Reader, feel free to adapt the above to your own specific needs.

–whit

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Posted in Diligence/Discipleship, Faith, Personal Challenges, Work

Showing Initiative, Saving Goals, and Second Efforts

Posted on October 28, 2013 by Dave | Leave a comment

Mongolian Archer

At the archery portion of the Naadam Festival held in July each year in Ulaanbaatar, a female archer in elegant Mongolian dress aims to topple a small wall of marked blocks from over half a football field away. The skill demonstrated by the archers in the competition is absolutely amazing as they more often than not hit the center portion of the marked blocks.

For Hunger Games archer Katniss Everdeen, it was take initiative or starve to death. After her father died and her mother was crippled with grief, feeding the family fell to Katniss. It took time, but she learned to recognize that she had developed skills that could save her family if she would put to work the tools her father had given her:

For a while, I hung around the edges of the Meadow, but finally I worked up the courage to go under the fence. It was the first time I’d been there alone, without my father’s weapons to protect me. But I retrieved the small bow and arrows he’d made me from a hollow tree. I probably didn’t go more than twenty yards into the woods that day. Most of the time, I perched up in the branches of an old oak, hoping for game to come by. After several hours, I had the good luck to kill a rabbit. I’d shot a few rabbits before, with my father’s guidance. But this I’d done on my own.

We hadn’t had meat in months… The woods became our savior, and each day I went a bit farther into its arms. It was slow-going at first, but I was determined to feed us. (The Hunger Games, Chapter 4, Paragraphs 17-19, Pages 50-51)

Nephi also learned to show initiative when faced with severe difficulties. His ability to feed his family was threatened when his bow made of fine steel was broken. He made a decision that saved his family. While others complained, he set a self-imposed goal: To make a bow of wood and to put it to work. Nephi would have had to carve a piece of wood long enough, thick enough, straight enough, and flexible yet strong enough to draw back with great force without breaking it. Suitable wood in the area may have included olive, pomegranate, acacia, or juniper.

Nephi Finds Food While Others Complained

But it’s what he did next that sets Nephi apart. He went to his spiritual leader to seek his counsel. And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did make out of wood a bow, and out of a straight stick, an arrow. … And I said unto my father: Whither shall I go to obtain food?

Nephi chose to act. He did what he could to fix a bad situation. He didn’t wait to be “compelled in all things” but decided to be “anxiously engaged” and to do something “of [his] own free will” (D&C 58:26–27). The Lord then blessed his efforts by helping him to have a successful hunt (1 Nephi 16:29–31). His goals were not just self-imposed goals; they were goals that saved his family.

Clayton M. Christensen has put this same lesson to work. As a world-renowned innovation expert and the Kim B. Clark Professor of Business Administration at the Harvard Business School, he has bit of experience with showing initiative. Throughout his book, The Power of Everyday Missionaries, Clay describes repeatedly how he has used self-imposed goals to bring about incredible changes in his own life and in the lives of others. No simple quote — Just lots of inspiring counsel from one who knows, from one who learned by doing.

I have learned for myself the importance of showing initiative. It helps us to aim high, to stretch ourselves and our bowstrings, and to reach new goals. It especially helps when we seek counsel from a trusted spiritual leader. And I know that by so doing, we may save our ourselves and our families.

Nephi’s Bows

Article: Nephi’s Bows

PDF: Nephi’s Bows

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WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Photo, Mongolian Archer—www .pinterest.com/jurekes/arco/
Book, The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins (2008, Scholastic Press, New York NY), ISBN 978-0-439-02348-1
Painting, Nephi Finds Food While Others Complained—www.lds.org/manual/book-of-mormon-student-manual/chapter-5-1-nephi-16-18
Photo, Ideas That Change The World—www.claytonchristensen.com
Book, The Power of Everyday Missionaries: The What and How of Sharing the Gospel, Clayton M. Christensen (2012, Deseret Book, Salt Lake City UT), ISBN 978-1-60907-315-2 (paperbound), 978-1-60907-316-9 (hardbound)
Article, “Nephi’s Bows”, New Era, Sep 2013, www .lds.org/new-era/2013/09/nephis-bows?lang=eng
or www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/images/magazines/new-era/2013/09/ne13sep24-25-000-nephis-bows.pdf

——– End of WebCredits ——–

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Posted in Death/Post-mortal Existence, Faith, Family Relationships, Gender Roles, Health/Exercise, Hope, Humility, Meekness, Obedience/Submissiveness/ Hearken/Observe, Patience, Peace, Personal Challenges, Prophets/Apostles/Authorized Church Structure, Serving Others, Work

Tagged Being Brave, Come; Follow Me, Commitment, Discarding Doubt, Out-of-the-box Thinking, Progression, Self-imposed Goals, Trusting Oneself

Manage Unwanted Door-knocking? Our Family’s Answer.

Posted on August 17, 2013 by MormonPanorama | 2 comments

Reader Question:
I have a problem with Mormon missionaries coming to our door! They have sent three sets of people three times in the last week, and I cannot get them to understand that we are not interested in becoming Mormon! I don’t want to be rude or disrespectful to another person’s religion, but I can’t seem to get the point across! A simple “No, thank you” has not done the trick! What can I tell them to get them to stop coming back? It is the church in my town in Oklahoma, I know this is not directly related to this page. I came to this page through a friend’s facebook page! I am Catholic and do not wish to become Mormon nor does anyone in my family. I understand your message and beliefs but I cannot get the missionaries to stop coming to the door! Can you please offer me advice to get this to stop? I am sure this is not what you had in mind for questions on this page, but I am getting a little desperate here. I am not trying to be disrespectful to these missionaries, but I am not interested, and they do not seem to understand that! Thank you for your time and consideration, and I apologize if you have found this offensive, that is really the last thing I have intended!

Family Answer:
Thanks for your question. Sincere, honest questions are always a good thing.

To gather an answer to your question, we talked to our adult kids. We also asked our local missionaries, because we knew they could help us. The answer from our local elders was the same as from our family: Next time your local missionaries come to your door, be kind, be honest, and be direct. Explain to them that you are simply not interested and ask that they keep track of your request not to return to your address.

Also, understand that these are young men and women who at their own expense have left their families and friends to serve for up to two years. The elders in your area and missionaries around the globe are here to help strengthen others, and they do that in the best way they can, and sometimes they make mistakes and flub up. Watch for a typical day in their life. One young woman said (at Time 2:28 of “Women Called to Serve”), “Our purpose is not to shove our beliefs down other people’s throats and make them do things they don’t want to do, but it’s to invite them to come unto Christ and to strengthen, not to change the faith that they have, but to strengthen that faith.” A young man from England serving in New York (“Men Called to Serve,” Time 5:33) said, “Sometimes you walk down the street as a missionary, and you grow such a love for these people, and there are some people who, you know, they mock you, or they laugh at you, or they simply don’t want to talk to you. I think one of the hardest things about a mission is that you believe in something so much, and then others don’t seem to trust you or give you a chance. That’s pretty hard.”

I hope this answers your question and helps you understand us better and how to talk more effectively to Mormon missionaries wherever you find them.

And let us know how we may help you further! If you find that you have any questions about religious issues that you’ve been wondering about or that you haven’t been able to get good answers to, feel free to continue on discussion with us. It turns out that there are a lot of people with questions, and most of them have given up on churches as a source of answers. In our family, it is our experience that answers are out there, that God wants us to have them, and that they tend to be answers we like and have learned to appreciate. Working together with Heavenly Father allows anyone to find certainty in uncertain times.

-Dave and the MormonPanorama Family

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WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Photo, ocean-woman-morning-fog-at-big-sur—www.lds.org/media-library/images/oceans?lang=eng&start=21&end=30
Address, “Ask the Missionaries! They Can Help You!”, Elder Russell M. Nelson, LDS General Conference, Oct 2012—www .lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/ask-the-missionaries-they-can-help-you?lang=eng
Photo, ocean-double-rainbow—www.lds.org/media-library/images/oceans?lang=eng#double-rainbow-760414

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Posted in Ask Us A Question: Our Family’s Answer, Charity/The Pure Love of Christ, Diligence/Discipleship, Faith, Gender Roles, Global Church, Godhead: Heavenly Father/Jesus Christ/The Holy Ghost, Serving Others, Work

Tagged Acceptance, Be Yourself, Civil Discourse, Freedom To Choose, Religious Liberty, Second Chances, Seeing People Deeper, Serving Others, Spectrum Of Opinion

Prayer And Getting Out Of Our Comfort Zone

Posted on August 2, 2013 by Dave | 1 comment

Knock, And It Shall Be Opened Unto You

To include prayer in our lives is to invite sacred moments into our lives. Watch the video Earthly Father, Heavenly Father:

(Or same video at lds.org link.)

I love the words of the narrator as we focus on his wedding ring at Time 2:53 and the kid at the door watching his parents pray at 2:34. When I walked in to see my own parents at prayer, I remember the whoosh of feelings of safety and security but mostly of sacredness.

My favorite memory of the power of a prayerful life is one at work. I knocked on a friend’s office door; normally, he responds quickly with, “Come in!”, and I open the door. Sometimes, I’ll hear water running in the office bathroom as he makes ablution, and I know not to knock at the door for a few minutes after he returns to his office. But this day I was distracted and failed to notice that my knock at the door from without brought no invitation voiced from within. Out of habit, I called him by name, adding the customary honorific suffix, and opened the door. I found my elderly friend kneeling lowly on his prayer rug. It was such a holy moment. In a familiar whoosh of feeling, I was aware that I had missed the cues of the sounds at the sink. Having cleansed himself without as he focused on cleansing himself within, he was now talking with his Maker, expressing humility without as he voiced humility within. It was just like walking in on my parents at prayer. After prayers were done, we embraced; I apologized for disturbing a sacred moment. “Oh, I don’t mind. I am just doing my duty,” he said. I replied, “It is the duty of us all.”

When I think of my favorite moments of prayer, I will always see in my mind and in my heart an elderly man from Uzbekistan, with shoes removed from off his feet, kneeling submissively on sacred ground in his office, visible to none but to Him who sees all.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost

Vintage Prayer Rug

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WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above:

Photo, “Knock, And It Shall Be Opened Unto You”—westsoundmodern.wordpress.com/2011/05/11/go-away-im-washing-my-hair-2/knock-knock-3/
Video, “Earthly Father, Heavenly Father”—www. youtube.com/watch?v=R5FxdCgD-qI
Photo, “Vintage Prayer Rug”—www .persiancarpetguide.com/sw-asia/Rugs/Turkmen/Arsary/Arsary94.htm
Photo, young-man-kneeling-in-prayer-from-Chap 5-ETBenson-manual—www .lds.org/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-ezra-taft-benson/chapter-5-principles-of-true-repentance?lang=eng

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Posted in Family Relationships, Godhead: Heavenly Father/Jesus Christ/The Holy Ghost, Humility, Obedience/Submissiveness/ Hearken/Observe, Prayer, Serving Others, Work

Tagged Acceptance, Be Yourself, Breaking Barriers, Family Ties, Global Faiths, God's Way—Not Mine, Seeing People Deeper, Self-worth, Stand In Holy Places, Standards Of Behavior, Walking By Faith

Broken/Intact Measures Of Success

Posted on August 2, 2013 by Dave | 2 comments

Burnt-out Fuse

At work, I have a friend, Roseanne (names have been changed), who cleans our hallway and offices. Currently, she has some personal challenges and misses a lot of work. Patrice, a mutual friend who cleans when Roseanne is gone, is a person of strong faith and has asked me to pray for Roseanne. We’ve had some great talks, and at the end, she always reminds me of the need to keep Roseanne in our prayers. The other day, as Patrice and I talked, I felt strongly that I should tell her that I was a Mormon. Given her classic Christian faith traditions, I immediately rejected the thought, knowing that it would not end well. I again felt prompted to mention my Mormon faith, and after arguing with myself (“This REALLY will NOT end well!”), I concluded that this was in truth a prompting from a celestial source and that I should follow it. I said, “Patrice, I’ll be glad to continue praying. You know, as a Mormon, my family has an active daily prayer life, and I’ll surely keep Roseanne in my prayers.”

Patrice’s face fell, and she ended the conversation abruptly. My first thought: I had been right – It did not end well. My second thought, influenced I believe by the Holy Ghost: “Of course, it did not end well, and this is exactly what Patrice needed. You have blown a fuse in her mind. You have fried her spiritual circuits. But after a time, her circuits will heal, and she’ll replace the blown fuse. She must deal with this in order to listen more fully sometime later. Give her time.”

And indeed, it took some time. Patrice no longer spoke to me, and when I saw her, her face would fall, and she would look away from me. After a month of this, I wondered whether she would ever in this life replace the busted fuse. But after about six weeks, she has now just recently started to talk to me again, as if nothing had ever happened. She’s on the way to healing, and I hope that eventually she may be in a position to listen to a friend about the Church of Jesus Christ (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).

My main point has nothing to do with Roseanne or Patrice. It has to do with what we consider success or failure in our missionary experiences. The Lord’s measures of success and our own often are not the same. As Harvard Business School innovation expert Clay Christensen teaches us in his book, The Power of Everyday Missionaries, we are a successful missionary when we communicate about the gospel of Jesus Christ. As far as God is concerned, a positive or negative response to what we teach does not influence the quality of the experience; the reaction of our conversation partner(s) is independent of our success. The quality of the experience is determined by how we follow the promptings that we receive. I have learned for myself that this is true.

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WebCredits—List of web resources used in this post but not explicitly credited above: